Inspiraelevation

The Illusion of the Highlight Reel

July 5th, 2022

Often, I take the time to look at elements in my life or events and draw inspiration and lessons. Some things present themselves to me in obvious ways. So, there is no denying that there is a lesson within them. Other things are more subtle. They are drawn from glances, interactions with nature, simple conversations, or gentle nudges from books or lectures.

Honest Reflection

Photo by cottonbro: https://www.pexels.com/photo/a-woman-looking-at-a-mirror-9429423/

More recently, a thing dawned upon me. Not that it hasn’t presented itself before, but more so at this moment in life.

I looked at myself in the mirror. Then, as I and many of us do, I judged what I saw there. Of course, I will not bore you with details of my judgment. Sometimes I am a little too harsh, and other times, I am a little too lenient.

Everyday no Highlight

Nevertheless, that day I looked at myself, unadorned, fresh-faced, and dressed down. I knew what the day would hold, the task I would sit down to. I thought about the conversations I would have. It would be a typical day. A cup of coffee, a shower, and some light perfume. It would be a bit of breakfast for my youngest, followed by some household chores. And then sit down to my work of getting lost in a world of words for hours. Lastly, my day would unfold into dinner, some downtime with my spouse, and to bed to do it all over again. This day like so many others would be a typical day. It would be my every day. This brought me to thoughts of what the outside world saw of me.

Reels of Highlights

See, I realize that I pose for a few pictures at some point in my day. I fix myself up a bit, put on a smile, pose, and set my frames to some dramatic, pretty, or popular music. Then I post it. And that is what the world sees of me. My endless reels of highlights. I recognize that many will judge my entire life and purpose on that reel. There will be many who will draw their conclusions about who I am based on that highlight reel. But that is hardly who I am. That is what I want the world to see at the moment. Those reels are carefully crafted images. But that is not who I am every day.

A World of Highlights

Photo by Pixabay: https://www.pexels.com/photo/apps-business-cellphone-cellular-telephone-533446/

Then I thought of mass media. I thought of magazines, music videos, television shows, and movies. I think of the litany of Instagram reels, Facebook posts, and Tik Tok’s. Consider how much they are consumed on a daily. Then think of how they impact the minds of so many. Sadly, there are so many who feel their lives dim in comparison to all those people. The standard seems impossible because it is.

Life is sprinkled with highlights. Highlights are not everyday. We all get sick and have pain. Most of us work, although our jobs may differ. Vacations are short-lived. No one wakes up completely flawless. To think any different is a trick of the mind.

Programmed to Feel Inferior

The images we are bombarded with daily are crafted and curated pictures and experiences. These people are putting their best foot forward and excising their flaws. It is an illusion. But rarely do we stop to see it that way. This is where shifting one’s mindset is crucial. We all have highlight reels; it’s that they are not present ted to us every day. So, we get lost in the litany of the highlight reels of others. I am here to tell you that is a prescription for misery.

“Comparison is an act of violence against the self.” – Iyanla Vanzant

Strengthen your mind to discern the difference. Do not be tricked into believing your life is subpar or that you are inferior. That is a lie. It is far from the truth. Instead, realize you are being programmed to feel negative, be dissatisfied, and strive for something you already have.

“The reason we struggle with insecurity is that we compare our behind the scenes with everyone else’s highlight reel.” Steve Furtick

Prescription: Create Your Own Highlight Reel

There is a way to counterbalance this. First, engage yourself in making your own highlight reel. And every day, play it back to yourself. Feed yourself with endless highlight reels of yourself until you start to recognize your greatness, beauty, and potential. Until you begin to realize that you are not inferior. There is no difference between you and the countless others. And if there is, most of it boils down to how you see yourself.
You’re Already There: Journey to Making It

June 27th, 2022
Yesterday I had an epiphany. I do sometimes have those.

I thought of all the famous people who have somehow made it. I thought of their journey. Then I had thought of mine.

I wondered at what point had they discovered within themselves that they had arrived at their dream. When did it dawn on them that they were living their dreams?

When Did They Get There?

Was it when they got the first call? Or was it the second? For the striving musician, was it when they signed their first deal. Was it real then? Maybe it wasn’t confirmed until they heard their voice streaming from the radio. And I thought maybe for some, it wasn’t real until they saw their names written across their first headline. Could it have been their first check? Did it not happen until their ears opened to the mention of their name on someone else’s lips?

Where Does Greatness Begin

I posed the question to my husband, does a person become great, or do they first believe in their greatness, and the rest follows?

Did Michael Jackson already see himself as the best before he was crowned so by public opinion? Did Alice Walker, Toni Morrison, or James Wheldon Johnson deem themselves prolific writers with their first works, or did it take hundreds? Rather did they still not see their greatness until the world turned and proclaimed so.

Isn’t a proclamation a verification of what already is?

This is what I came to reason About Getting There.

One must already believe in their greatness long before others, or the world could ever acknowledge so. Why? There can be no witness to something that is not already true. Validation from another doesn’t make something, so it confirms what already is.

I thought of all the work I had put in. So many times, I told myself I was working towards something. I never entirely spoke in absolutes, but I was careful not to affirm a negative either. I pondered on the many times I would say I’m getting there. But the thing about that is I never set the marker for when I would know I was what I set out to become.

A Personal Encounter: A Change of Perspective

I remember a conversation I had with someone discussing my work. As an artist of any form, you must realize your work is continuous. You must continue to evolve to grow and improve. So we discussed some things I could work on to improve my craft. Post discussion, I gave my contemporary my sincerest gratitude. I told her that every day I strive to be a great writer. She shocked me when she said you are already a great writer. I was taken aback. She saw in me something I had not yet seen in myself.

Already There

I am no longer trying or working towards being a writer. I am a writer, a bonafide writer, and a journalist. Not only that, I’m already prolific and making an impact. I must continue to build off that recognition. Greatness does not mean the greatest. It certainly doesn’t mean there isn’t more to do or accomplish. It means I recognize who I am, the level of my skill, and the essence of my craft. I will use that knowledge to only make me that much greater.

A Word To You

Before you can ever become something, you have to already believe you are. You must walk in, dwell in, wear, and speak it.

I think of this quote attributed to Ray Charles,

“I was born with music inside me. Music was one of my parts. Like my ribs, my kidneys, my liver, my heart. Like my blood. It was a force already within me when I arrived on the scene. It was a necessity for me-like food or water.

Ray Charles

Others cannot believe something you have not yet believed about yourself.

I charge you today to look at everything you have done and are doing. Look at yourself clearly. Don’t short-change yourself because you haven’t yet received the confirmation from the masses. Believe in yourself enough to know who and what you are. You may discover you are already there. You will grow so much from that revelation you will find out you’re unstoppable. And watch what happens from then on!
Mind Over Matter

June 16th, 2022

Most of us have heard this statement so many times it has become almost rote, cliched, and empty.

Mind Over Matter More Than Cliche

Sometimes it takes an active example to remind us of the power of words. Especially those that have become empty and vacuous to us. Perhaps due to their overuse. This is one turn of a phrase that I can attest has an indescribable power.

What Is Matter?

Image by Gustavo Rezende from Pixabay

Matter, in scientific terms, is defined as the substance everything we see is composed of. It is the material component of things we behold. As corny as it may sound, not only are we composed of matter but our whole being matters.

The difference between Matter and Matters

On the other hand, matters are defined as things we deal with (issues) daily. They are the encounters that move us. Matters give purpose to matter.

So, when one says to exercise mind over matter, it is a charge for one to use their mental powers to overcome whatever weaknesses present within our physical bodies or impact our physical body.

David Adams, the author of the work “The Man Who Couldn’t Stop,” penned the phrase, “Mind over matter represents the triumph of will over physical hindrance. Our thoughts are our weapon against the world.”

Exercising Mind Over Matter Is Challenging

While it seems easy enough, it’s not necessarily so.

In times of ease, it is not hard to find the mental bandwidth to rise above issues faced or turn our faces to a more positive acclimation when pained.

However, it is much harder to demonstrate the type of mental power to rise above when in the throes of debilitating pain or overwhelmed with cascading problems. That type of mental power comes from exercise. It comes from shaping the mind. Training the mind to recognize the power you have over it. That type of power is built into you.

Let’s Drive This Home

A few months ago, my son underwent an ordeal. A procedure ended up as an emergency. It was a moment when many would have collapsed. But instead, I bore witness to an indescribable strength. That type of strength is not something that comes easy. In a moment of intense vulnerability, mine not his, I asked him are you okay? He shrugged and nodded. Then I asked him how? He looked at me and said, “mind over matter.”

At that moment, those words hit me. I was flabbergasted. I was astounded at how my son could stand there when he should have been in pain and when he should have passed out. When his heart could have stopped, he stood there. With all the strength imbued upon him, said mom, “mind over matter.

A Very Valuable Lesson

That taught me that mind over matter is no simple phrase. It is powerful. My son’s use of it showed me what is possible. We do have the power to exercise an indeterminable insuppressible faith that will carry us through our most harrowing moments in life. We must tap into it.

How?

We begin by exercising this mindset in small matters.

So, my message for you today is to remember the power of words. Remember that nothing is impossible to you if you believe. And one can absolutely demonstrate mind over matter, but it comes through the development of strong faith.
Life On A bigger Scale: From Pain to Gratitude

June 12th, 2022

A lot of finding understanding in life is about expanding our horizons and our perspective.

A small blurb I retracted from Jay Shetty’s Think Like a Monk brought this back to the forefront of my mind. That quote went, “We don’t see things as they are; we see things as we are,” meaning our perspective influences how we interact with the greater world and our experiences in it.

Limited by Perspectives: Expanding Towards Gratitude

We are limited by our own perceptions (perspectives). So, we must teach ourselves to walk into other rooms in our minds to consider things differently. However, that is no simple task. But it’s worth considering that the best rewards come from what we have worked for. Adjusting mindset is no different.

Enlarging our perspectives is an essential part of that process. This permits us the space to lean toward more tremendous gratitude in our lives.

“Taking a broader view helps us minimize our pain and appreciate what we have, and we directly access this broader view by giving.” -Shetty

Limited in Our Pain: Growing in Gratitude

We are often limited in our pain. Without perspective beyond our own of others undergoing more immense sufferings, we can’t find the type of peace that will carry us through our own trials and struggles. Because when perspective is absent, our pains, struggles, and problems become much more prominent. However, when we consider the larger community, somehow, what we go through is a lot more insignificant, no matter how large it is in our lives. The shift in knowledge makes us grateful for our condition, no matter where we may be.

“When we see the struggles of others in the clear light of day when we use our talents to improve the world even a little bit, we immediately feel a surge of gratitude.”
Shetty

A Small World

Our world alone is too small. Everything is magnified in a smaller room.

But expansion allows us to see farther distances.

An adage attributed to Helen Keller ties this up nicely.

“I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.”

United Through Suffering

As I have said in an earlier post, suffering comes to us all. No one is immune. So, it’s never a thing that we fall or despair. Instead, what is essential is that we rise and how we get up.

Your suffering seems overwhelming and consuming if it is for you as it has been for me. And so, I encourage taking a beat and a breath and seeking to understand the suffering of others. And then trying to ease someone else’s pain. You will find the internal healing you so desire.

A Personal Account: From Pain to Gratitude

A year ago, I underwent a loss. That loss was significant, and the tumult of the grief threatened to bring me under. I absolve my perspective and view were much too narrow. And I found a dwelling place in my pain. I constructed a house and tried to set up a residence. Thus my pain became a shrine. I made it as if I were the only one who suffered that type of pain. Until I found a community.

Shared Communities Open Doors, Hearts, and Minds

It was a community of people who suffered a similar loss. I never knew it existed. But my loss led me there. My loss opened my world and my eyes. Once there, although I found I had pain, there were others whose pain was so much more profound. And that made my struggle seem small, no less painful, but a lot less catastrophic. I could then see all the things I had to be grateful for. It led me to a deeper desire to help others. It spurred me to,

“Plant trees under whose shade I did not plan to sit.” -Shetty

My Quest Forward

I wanted others to heal in a way I had not. I wanted others to experience less pain than I did.

So, in every endeavor, this is my quest. And one day, when all is said and done, my seeds will create a forest, a lush green canopy of trees generations can find rest under.

Today, my hope for you is that you expand your mind, your world, and your perspective. Make gratitude the balm to set you on a path to peace and healing.
No More Chains

June 5th, 2022

Few feelings in the world are as great as the feeling of liberation.

I have never been in physical shackles, and I am so grateful.

Shackles of Another Making

However, that doesn’t mean that I have never been imprisoned.

You know the feeling of being trapped or the state of not being able to move or change your situation.

What about enclosing yourself inside yourself, not free to express what you desire or openly exhibit what you love because it’s frowned upon.

Self-Forged Chains; Self-Imprisonment

Image by Engin Akyurt from Pixabay

Unfortunately, while many do not don physical chains, we still wear chains. Some of those chains are self-forged.

I know mine was.

I voluntarily handed over my freedom. That’s because I was a people pleaser. But, as I mentioned before, I was mired in GOOP.

To be honest, I have always felt like an outsider. And I never embraced that as something powerful or to be championed. I always saw it as a horrible flaw.

I wanted so badly to belong and be liked.

Unseen Chains

So, every day I reinforced my unseen chains until they were ironclad.

But unseen chains are some of the most complex constraints to break free of.

Although I felt them, I couldn’t see them.

I would sense the tug every now and then because they held me back from being who I could be because I was stuck at who I wasn’t. And instead of asking how I could be more like myself and love myself for who I was, I always questioned why I couldn’t be like someone else.

Now I know it was mostly fear that people would laugh or ignore me if I did more of what I loved. It was not as if they weren’t already laughing. I needed them to laugh a whole lot less.

So I struggled a lot.

Why do we so easily accept chains?

Image by Magnascan from Pixabay

We are human and flawed. One of the most basic human needs is acceptance.

There aren’t many who don’t wish to belong. Belonging means congruency, having a home or feeling at home. That means comfort.

So, we seek affirmation.

However, this is the antithesis of freedom. Someone else holds the keys to our movement.

As Edith Eger author of the book The Gift 14 Lessons to Save your Life pens it,

“But when you’re a whole person, an adult, you don’t have to ask anyone’s permission.” ( 110).

What Happens When We Look for Affirmation?

When someone doesn’t affirm us, it drives us to act in ways against our nature in trying to wedge ourselves into a mold someone else has constructed.

The thing about trying to fit in the molds others make for us is sometimes they are too small, and sometimes there are too big. So, we either must shrink ourselves to fit or fill large spaces that are too big for us.

And sadly, we either suffocate ourselves or lose ourselves because we never meet those standards. They are too far from who we are.

A little example with a significant meaning

Image by Stefan Keller from Pixabay

Think of a giant in a land of elves.

All the giant knows he is his otherness. That otherness makes him feel lonely, uncomfortable and rejected. So his greatest desire is to have the comfort of being included. So, he sets to the task of doing whatever he must to fit in with the elves. However, some of the things they engage in simply don’t suit him or his frame.

But he attempts to engage anyway, knowing it will never make him happy within himself. More importantly, it will never work. On the contrary, it will likely cause him more pain. He will suffer the physical pain of simply not being equipped to do those things. He will suffer the emotional pain of feeling less than trying and failing to accomplish those things that his very nature will not permit.

The giant will always be unhappy. He will feel stuck. And the elves will never respect him. They may pity him, but that is something different altogether.

You see, they know he will never be one of them. And by not being himself, they don’t benefit from the uniqueness he would bring to them. So, he is essentially imprisoned by his own doing.

Either way, he pushes against a brick wall and expects it to move, resulting in dissatisfaction.

The Greatest Freedom: Dropping the Chains

Photo by Zulmaury Saavedra on Unsplash

Thus, I understand that the greatest freedom lies in totally accepting who you are in being free to love what you love and who you are without apology—understanding that you are enough. You don’t need to earn or prove anything. You were born worthy of acceptance, and that was so from the day you entered this world.

Above all, you don’t have anything to prove.

“If you have something to prove, you’re still a prisoner (Eger 112).”

Those who love you will accept you for who you are. They will not attempt to change you to fit some model of what they desire.

And it helps to remember that there will always be someone out there who will appreciate and love you for your flaws. Because to them, you are perfect in your imperfections.

In Freedom: You are Complete

You can never be someone else. Even if you tried, you would find it exhausting. You can wear a mask for a bit, but that gets old. You must take it off.

It may seem that you can achieve greater acceptance by altering the things you engage in.

What fun is it in giving up the things you find pleasure in to engage in something that doesn’t move your heart? That brings about regret.

It is possible to alter your exterior; medical advancements make it so. But then what.

You must ask yourself what will be enough. They don’t love you if they need to change something about you to love you. They love the desire for that thing more. Who’s to say they will not later desire to change something else. If someone is unhappy with who you are, they will either continue to place more expectations on you or simply discard you when you fail to meet their ideal. That is subjecting oneself to a life of constant fear and abuse.

A Word of Wisdom

If someone needs you to be something or someone else, liberate them. Focus on loving you as you are. Release your spirit, and your mind and body will follow. You will find you will draw more of the same freedom in nature and those who celebrate the freedom you live in.