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  • Wishing to Fulfillment: A Discourse

    May 5th, 2022

    I once thought if only I had a few wishes, then I would have everything I needed. And subsequently, I would be happy and content.

    Yet, I never thought to question why that would be the case­­­ ­.

    • How long would I be happy even if I obtained it?
    • Would receiving something I wished for make me happy?

    Fundamentally, I merely bought into the programming.

    Maybe you have as well.

    But wait, that isn’t an unusual thing.

    See, we are the programmed.

    We are programmed to Wish

    Disney’s showcase song is built on the premise of the marriage of wishes and fulfillment.

    Photo by David Kopacz: https://www.pexels.com/photo/purple-and-blue-abstract-painting-4995043/

    When you wish upon a star

    Makes no difference who you are

    When you wish upon a star, your dreams come true.

    And respectively, many of us grew up believing in that type of magic. We wanted and hoped to live in a world with fairy godmothers, princes, and genies. Who didn’t want to live in a world where dreams came true by desiring them?

    And this thinking becomes so much a part of us we hardly recognize the creep into our vernacular.

    Who can say they have not at some point uttered?

    • ” I wish I could do that!”
    • “If only that would happen to me!”
    • “If only that were me!”
    • “What If I had that opportunity”

    The Reality of Wishing

    However, there are no genies, princes in waiting, or fairy godmothers.

    And wishes never lead to a life of fulfillment.

    Wishing leaves us empty.

    Why?

    Primarily a wish can never be fulfilled.

    What is a wish in actuality?

    In earnest, wishes are what we desire but hope to get effortlessly.

    “I wish is code for I don’t want to do anything differently (Shetty 78)

    And the very thought that something can be obtained without motion is ludicrous.

    Truthfully, to get something, you must put yourself in the field of motion to obtain it.

    So, our mental offers pushback

    How Mentality Comes into Play

    We are structured to use our senses. That sensory input is translated through a lens of understanding to which we give our observations meaning.

    It is not hard to look at something externally without understanding the complexities involved in shaping that person or thing and making a judgment.

    Some people make things look super easy. They make it look as if they wished for it, and it appears.

    And, when we see someone with the output we want; the money, cars, accolades, position, recognition, and awards, we make up a story based on our perceptions of what we see on their highlight reel.

    And we amp ourselves up to believe that we want that and we are capable of doing the same things to get it.

    But few consider if they have the resolve to obtain or keep it.

    The Great Illusion

    In truth, most don’t want to do what it takes to get that thing they wish for.

    They only want the result.

    The underlying desire is to wish oneself to fulfillment.

    We all have dreams and wishes. The difference is that dreams are there for you to do something with – they are a component of hope; without a dream, there is no hope. A wish, however, is simply a desire to have something without doing anything to accomplish it.” Catherine Pulsifer

    Truth Hurts

    If we truly wanted what another has, we would have to accept all that went into crafting that.

    That would mean being able to live and deal with the same experiences, good and bad, that shaped the individual into becoming the progenitor, creator, or performer we see.

    The question becomes could we withstand the work it would take.

    And if we are truthful, we know the answer.

    That’s why many will never obtain it. Because If it were bestowed upon one’s person without the work to get it, the outcome would be destructive.

    You can’t handle what you are not prepared for.

    So be careful what you wish for, without the desire to work for

    A Story for Your Consideration

    Image by Andrew Martin from Pixabay

    There is a story that Shetty relays in his book Think Like A Monk.

    In his book he recounts a little account of Picasso.

    Picasso meets this woman who is obviously enamored with his talent. And so, she requests that he paint a portrait of her, which he does. And it is a remarkable piece. However, it only takes seconds to draw. Then, upon completing the commissioned work, he turns to the lady to give his price.

    The lady is shocked by his fee. Picasso charges $30,000 for a 30-second portrait.

    She is stunned. She is bewildered, wondering why so much. When Picasso told her, “Madam, it did not take 30 seconds; it took thirty years.

    The Point

    The woman saw the work, and she desired the output without considering everything that went into rendering that. Her desire was to merely get the output for little or nothing in return. She hadn’t considered what went into creating that work of art.

    The ease with which Picasso drew the portrait resulted from 30 years of practice of concentrated effort. The only way he could produce such work in such a short period is due to his investment. Had she known that either she would not have asked for the portrait, or she would not have been shocked by the price tag.

    The truth behind the story

    • We rarely see beyond what we can see.
    • Looking at outcomes alone lead to vain musings for the same.
    • We assume that because someone else makes it look easy, we could produce the same result.

    None of that is true. It never has been, and it never will be.

    A Final Word on Wishing

    So, the next time you think to wish upon a star, understand that wishes will not get you what you want. And even if you could wish for something and obtain it, the very fact that there was no input involved in getting it should give you pause. Then, how could you maintain it?

    Remember, all things need maintenance.

    That is something to think about.

  • Completing the Circle of Inquiry: The Question Who

    May 2nd, 2022

    So, we have cycled through the list of questions often posed on the journey to success. We asked What/If, what, why, when, how, and where. But, there is one more question of inquiry to explore, and that is the question of Who?

    The Question of Who

    Each question has its place. However, of all the questions, the question that answers the inquiry who is the most personal.

    Along life’s course, you will discover that none of the other questions matter if you cannot answer the question of who.

    A Question of Identity

    Who is an inquiry of identity?

    Your identity is the core of everything. And discovery will reveal, every other question stems from this one.

    Who am I?

    Photo by Eva Elijas: https://www.pexels.com/photo/text-cutouts-on-a-dotted-background-5941331/

    Why is identity so important?

    You will always be at the center.

    Everything you hope for finds its root within you.

    Because you are the dreamer.

    You are the driver.

    And as much as you want to be fulfilled in life, you can never find true fulfillment until you discover who you are

    Until then, everything else is merely pretense.

    The Sad fact

    Many people find they ask the right questions but in the wrong sequence or at the wrong time. You can’t know your purpose (why) if you don’t know who you are. And you will never pinpoint what you want to do until you know your authentic identity?

    If you don’t know who you truly are, you’ll never know what you really want.”
    ― Roy T. Bennett

    So, In such cases, where to start and when will it happen are pretty useless. That is why finding one’s identity is so important.

    The curse of living someone else’s dream

    There is nothing more draining than living someone else’s dream or trying to fulfill someone else’s vision. There is just not enough energy in the world to sustain that.

    Attempting to live up to someone else’s expectation Is impossible. You will never meet someone’s expectation of who you should be. That only leads to sadness and regret.

    That’s why they say inauthenticity never breeds contentment.

    Word of Encouragement

    So, I encourage you to find out who you are?

    • Who are you, apart from your friends and family?
    • Who are you when you’re not being observed?
    • Who are you when you can be free?
    • Who are you when there is no one to impress, and it’s you undressed?

    Who are you?

    What to do on the path of discovery

    Then spend some time with that person.

    • Find out what you love?
    • What could you get lost in?
    • What makes you feel whole?
    • What could you do with abandon?

    Let that drive you.

    There is no more fulfilling feeling than being free in who you are and free to do what you love.

    “Only the truth of who you are, if realized, will set you free.”
    ― Eckhart Tolle

    And I promise you that when identity, passion, and purpose meet, you will have everything you need.

  • Where Do I Begin?

    April 29th, 2022

    There is nothing like knowing what you want in life.

    And even more significant is walking in the understanding of why you are doing what you do. This is the soul of living a purpose-driven life. 

    But other than the questions of when, how, and what if, there is always the question of where.

    Where do I begin?

    Image by PixLoger from Pixabay
    1. Lao Tzu once said, ” the journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step..”
    2. Martin Luther King spoke of staircases and how faith is taking a step, although you can’t see where that staircase will lead. 
    3. The Nike Brand exclaims to just do it. 

    And all these are so pointedly true. 

    But That’s Not Clear Enough!

    For some, it still doesn’t quite answer where to start? 

    That’s understandable. 

    Truthfully most of the time, it is unclear because it is a question that cannot be answered outside of you.

    Taking a Clearer Look at Where to start.

    Well, you begin from where you are. 

    Believe it or not, often, long before this question is asked, the decision has already been made. 

    See action is the final step in moving along a path. 

    Are you Confused Yet?

    Stick with me.

    • All questions have roots. 
    • Those roots have sprouts which are thoughts.
    • And those thoughts sprout from seeds (Which are planted from observation and internal inquiry).

    So, when a thought presents itself as a question to be vocalized, it has typically been turned over in the mind many times. And quite often, the vocalization of the question is merely for confirmation, either in agreement or disagreement. 

    What does that Mean?

    So if you are true to yourself, you will find that you have entertained the thought long before you have asked. And additionally posed several solutions in your head. You have undoubtedly held counsel with yourself.

    That is why acting is merely the amalgamation of what has been processed and confirmed. It is the stamp of approval. 

    What do some Insightful Leader Say In This Regard

    That is why James Allan proffered that

    As a man thinketh so he becomes. 

    This gives great depth to the statement by Rene Descartes.

    I think, therefore, I am. 

    Your steps are walking manifestations of what you have already decided in your mind. 

    To Pose the question, Where do I begin again.

    So, the true answer is to trust yourself because you already know.

    Photo by Olya Kobruseva: https://www.pexels.com/photo/motivational-simple-inscription-against-doubts-5238645/

    Start from where you are, and act on what you know to be true. The road will reveal itself as you walk. 

    An Extreme Word of Caution

    Be wary of asking others where you are to begin. 

    As I have learned in an exercise in the active engagement of transforming my mind, you are the star of your movie. If you want to be successful, you cannot defer to others. 

    Why?

    Most people don’t care because they are busy starring in their own movies and others want to see you fail. 

    So, walk in the assurance of your calling, what you know, and what you have chosen.

    And take the step. 

  • How: A Birthing Process

    April 27th, 2022

    The last few articles have explored the importance of inquiry and where the questions what if, what, why, and when fit in the process of reaching for our dreams.

    Understand there will be endless questions along the journey, and they will come fast and furious. However, most are framed within the six fundamental asks, what, when, why, where, who, and how.

    The Question How.

    How is an inquiry that typically goes hand in hand with the question when?

    Most of us who anticipate the outcomes of our efforts want to know when we will see the results and how?

    • How will our dreams come to fruition?
    • How will we know we have arrived?
    • How will it all be in the end?

    The Miracle of the Wait!

    There is one genuinely miraculous thing about planting a seed, the how.

    You see, we know what we plant.

    And we have an idea of what that plant may look like when it sprouts.

    However, we will not know how beautiful it will be until it blooms.

    Photo by Anna Gru on Unsplash

    The How is always a Miracle.

    The only hand we really have in the process of growth is planting and nourishing. But unfortunately, we can’t see the work happening beneath the soil.

    It’s a lot like a baby growing within the womb. We know that it’s happening. We have an idea of what is happening. There is an inkling of what the outcome will look like. We even have a tentative when. But the how is out of our control.

    The Birthing Process

    Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

    We have no idea how the limbs form or how they knit together. We are just witnesses of the process. So there is no choice but to let the process take care of itself. This takes the most enormous leap of faith.

    But there is no need for dismay. The extraordinary sense of awe one gets to experience when everything finally comes together is indescribable and well worth every pang experienced.

    An Experience I well Understand

    I am a testament to this. My womb has held five beautiful seeds. And miraculously, I have had the opportunity to birth four of those four beautiful children. I had no idea how it all came together each time, but it did. And each time, I was awed. And giving birth to your dreams is no different.

    So I charge you to hang in there and enjoy the process. Because what is up ahead will be unbelievably breathtaking.

  • Inquiry Series: When

    April 25th, 2022
    Inquiry: When

    In the line of questioning, reasonably, the first question one typically asks is what and then why?

    But once we have figured out what we desire and our purpose (the why), logically, we ask when.

    Two Times That the Question When is Our Biggest Inquiry

    There are two times where the question of when becomes one’s primary focus. The first is while one is at the start of the journey, while the other is when one is well on the way to fulfilling their desire.

    The First Time One Raises the Inquiry When

    The first time one raises the inquiry when, is in determining a time frame to set adrift; asking questions such as,

    When do I start?

    As much as one may want guidance in this area, this is a personal question. No one can tell you the right time to start your journey. To determine readiness, it’s something you must sit with and assess

    Shetty, who is the author of this phenomenal book entitled Think Like a Monk, so eloquently points out,

    Sometimes it helps to sit with a question in the back of your mind for a day, even a week. Then, very often, you’ll find that what you are ultimately searching for is an internal feeling.” (Shetty 74)

    So with this in mind, it becomes obvious that knowing when to take a leap is as much a feeling as anything. However, even given this knowledge, one thing remains sure, if you never start, you will never get where you are going. So never procrastinate.

    Think about it for a moment.

    There will never be a tomorrow, and yesterday is way too late, so now is all you will ever have.

    The Second Time One raises the Inquiry When

    There is yet another time where when becomes the primary driver. That time comes while looking to the horizon after much work and effort has been applied.

    The questions most asked are;

    • When is it going to come true for me?
    • When is it going to all come together?

    Unfortunately, this is also a question no one can answer for us.

    Things take time.

    There are no definitive timelines or dates when it comes to fulfilling goals.

    There are no magic eight balls that can reveal when everything we have worked for will pay off.

    We can set deadlines and work towards that time frame. Yet, there will still be so much that must fall into place to fulfill our dreams.

    So, when is as miraculous a thing as any?

    Not Knowing When Something Will Happen, Doesn’t Mean You Don’t Work.

    Inquiry When: Photo by Анна Галашева: https://www.pexels.com/photo/unrecognizable-trendy-woman-lying-on-street-bench-near-wall-with-inscription-on-autumn-day-5742722/

    Face it, despite not having a definitive when; there will never be a success without action.

    You must press on anyway. Because to reap a harvest, the seed must be in the ground.

    Shetty said it like this,

    Nor can we expect someone to fund us, discover how amazing we are, and hand us our place in the world. Nobody is going to create our lives for us.”

    So, assuredly If you are willing to put in the work, the when will come if you believe.

    Here is Where Your Why Comes In

    You must use your purpose to carry you all the way. Because while you are waiting, when things get a little challenging, your purpose will sustain you. Then,

    “The work itself will bring you a sense of fulfillment even if you don’t succeed as quickly, or ever” (79)

    A Word to Remember

    Inquiry When: Photo by Olya Kobruseva: https://www.pexels.com/photo/happy-birthday-to-you-card-5246429/

    Although when is a question that looms big and takes up all rationality.

    Try to worry less about when and shift your focus to your what and why. You will then see that everything else takes care of itself in time.

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