Applying the formula for success will not always give you a positive outcome.
Putting in work will not guarantee you a reward.
Beware, in everything there is always one small caveat. There is always one small detail that has a huge impact on the outcome.
Ever wonder why despite your knowledge people ignore what you have to say or refer to someone less knowledgeable?
Ever been puzzled about how years of experience are passed over for novices?
Its because there is always one small caveat.
Yes, you need knowledge to gain respect, but that never guarantees respect.
Yes, experience gives you the wisdom to pass on to others, but it does not guarantee that people will listen.
I once assumed, to my great dismay, that people would automatically listen if by all practical standards you have demonstrated worth through education, skill, or experience.
But, I was disappointed time and time again.
There was one small caveat that I neglected
The caveat being you have to have appeal
Your experience or education does not make people sit up and pay attention, but your appeal does.
Your education, skill, and experience only get you a seat in the room, not the position.
What people perceive you know makes all of the difference.
Even if you have limited education or experience if others perceive that you know what you are talking about they will listen to you.
If your success depends on being heard it would be wise to invest in methods that will broaden your appeal.
If you don’t want to be disappointed in life always pay attention to the caveats.
Ask what is the one thing that makes all the difference and work to strengthen that.
How you measure success is critical. In life, there will only be so many winners, or more appropriately gold medalist, noble prize winners, Oscar winners, Grammy winners, first place holders. It is never wise to base your success on achieving these positions. If you choose to base your success on being first, Remember that your failure to achieve these positions does not indicate that you are a failure.
Success and achievement have more to do with how you frame your vision
If you frame your vision to look at any place other than first, as winning, then the probability that you will be sorely disappointed in life is almost 100%.
Winning does not have to equal first. Success does not always mean winning.
Whether you know it or not, you have already been hugely successful in life, but perhaps you can’t see it. Maybe this is due to the yardstick by which you are using to measure your success.
Sucess more aptly means to have achieved.
If you have completed something that you have set out to do, then you have been successful. It does not matter what place you came in or how long it took you to get there. What matters is that you have accomplished what you set out to do.
When you think about how much you have completed or how far you have come from where you were, you will begin to see how successful you have actually been.
The more successful that you perceive yourself to be, the more motivated you are to achieve more and more exceptional. This is the compound effect at work.
It is okay to set your sights high, but you also must be realistic. Your goals have to always be SMART. Specific, Measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound.
You have to be specific concerning what you want. You must have a starting point from which to measure from and an ending point to mark your success. Otherwise, you will never know how far you have come and the distance you have to go.
2. You must have the ability to achieve the goal you set. You must have the skillset, talent, resources, and the opportunity. Or, you must have the means and time to acquire any of those mentioned above.
3. The steps you take must be relevant. If the activities you choose will not contribute to achieving your goal, then you must re-evaluate.
Example: You want to grow prize tomatoes. Engaging in activities that will not contribute to cultivating prize tomatoes is not relevant and potentially serves as a distraction.
4. Setting a time to achieve a goal is what provides the motivation. Being reasonable about the time set is what makes it possible to achieve what you set out.
If you follow that formula, every step you take puts you further down the road from where you started is a success.
It’s not just about reaching the destination; it is also the journey.
On your journey you will inevitably come up against obstacles.
Some of these obstacles may be of your own making while others may result from factors of chance or life. But, no matter where it comes from, an obstacle is something that must be overcome.
Learn to look at all obstacles equally and strategically plan how to conquer them
The obstacle may very well be people, some who love you, and some who want not more than to see you fail.
Remember, love never wants to see you fail.
“Those who matter don’t mind, and those that mind don’t matter.”
You have to take charge of your life and determine what you want from it.
The worst thing you can do is cower in the shadow of an obstacle and give up.
Rather, use it to fuel your come up, make those obstacles into stepping stones.
Easier said than done, I know.
The unadulterated truth is,
You may have to go around the obstacle.
The journey may be long, and tedious.
But, you have to determine if the journey is worth it?
You may have to break down the obstacle.
It may be difficult and laborious, and you may need help.
But you must ask yourself is the pain worth it?
You may have to scale it.
It may get treacherous, the summit higher than you expected, and you may not be able to turn back.
But you must ask yourself is the destination worth it?
You may have to count on others to help you push it.
You have to ask yourself is the time it will take worth it?
And, if people are your obstacle, you may have to let them go. Turn the weapons used to annihilate you around on them, or do what it takes to disarm them.
You have to ask yourself am I brave enough to see this through?
If the obstacle is systemic,
you may have to make a leap into a position or profession that you didn’t plan on.
You may have to create and develop a foundation, a team, or a coalition that will dismantle the system.
You may have to go toe to toe with Goliath, Big Brother, Big pharma, whatever it might be.
You have to ask yourself what am I willing to put on the line for this?
You have to evaluate what your dreams are worth to you and calculate the risk you are willing to take to achieve them.
A lot of people are living far below their capabilities.
They are flying too low.
They are struggling through life.
And one very significant reason for this, is a striving to fit into places that they don’t belong.
This is what lends to a devaluation of one’s self; making it difficult to determine one’s actual strengths, talents, and abilities. And utterly, a deep dissatisfaction and emptiness follows.
But, it is a pain that does not have to exist. It is a self-inflicted pain. It comes from trying to force oneself into situations, positions, and groups where you don’t belong.
You should never have to prove your worth or fight to belong.
Unfortunately, before one can go on to reach his or her full potential, he or she must be able to discern the difference between where they do and do not fit in.
Things begin to change when one realizes that his or her worth is not dependent on inclusion into certain groups or the opinions of others.
That an inability to fit does not indicate that you are without worth just that you have to search new horizons.
An eagle will never realize its potential among hawks or a swan among ducklings.
So, if you find yourself constantly trying to get people to see your worth, you have to stop.
Love yourself enough to walk away.
To stay is just to continuously punish yourself.
“What is for you is for you, and no one can take it!”
It should never be a struggle for people to see how great you are.
The right people will see it. They will recognize it. They will embrace you completely flaws and all.
The goal in life is to be happy.
Happiness can’t be bought or bargained for, it should come easy.
You have an unconditional value so seek those who recognize and celebrate this.
One question that seems to be prevalent in today society is why are we failing as individuals, as a people, as a society?
I venture, the answer is;
We are the reason we are failing.
We are self-sabotaging our own success and potential.
But, How?
I am sure by now most understand that success is built.
Success is not happenstance. One just doesn’t wake up successful.
Success is the outcome of a series of intentional contributions toward a specific goal or objective.
Success is not individualistic.
Inversely no one fails on their own.
No one succeeds or accomplishes anything on their own, contrary to the belief of some.
Generational wealth is built, over time, usually through the concentrated efforts of more than one individual, and it is the same with success.
One has to make purposeful contributions that will move him or her, their family, nation, or society toward a goal.
Actions are the smallest units in building success. Each action performed on a consistent basis builds habits. Skill, character, and knowledge result from habit building.
Success takes purposeful, directed action.
Just as one can build success one action and habit at a time one can also destroy potential for success one action or habit at time.
Continued actions of a toxic nature are antithetical to progress. Failure is the result of continued toxic actions, lending to toxic habits. Toxic habits destroy character, defile knowledge, and leave people incapable of contributing anything lasting or worthwhile.
What does that have to do with us failing as asociety, as people, as a family unit?
Toxic behaviors (micoagressive behaviors) of individuals are eroding our potential and sabotaging our success.
As individuals we help build or destroy the potential of others through our actions, speech, and behavioral interactions with others. Not all of our contributions are blatantly obvious.
Microaggressions are small subtle toxic actions, behaviors, often subtle that we communicate to others via our interactions. This is often looked at through the lens of race.
As Dictonary.com defines it “a microaggression is a subtle but offensive comment or action directed at a minority or other non dominant group that is often unintentional or unconsciously reinforces a stereotype.”
However, micro-agressive behaviorism is not isolated to race alone. Micro-agressive behavior, no matter who it is inflicted upon, is destructive and is at the root of mass failure.
How I came to draw this conclusion
Recently I was fully engaged in a profound documentary. This documentary focused on issues that a specific subset of individuals faced. The issues were incessant and contributed to a great deal of suffering. The pain was so deeply rooted that it was generational in nature.
The purpose of the documentary was to get to the root of the suffering, to expose the rot at the root that it might be eventually pulled up and the suffering relieved. The hopeful outcome being a cessation of the perpetuation of a longstanding ill.
In my observation there was one thing that most of the suffers had in common. They were all subjects of microagressive behaviors. Someone, somewhere in their lives had interacted with them in an extremely negative manner under the guise of friendship, love, familial bonds, or well-intentioned friendships. These subjects had been in some manner subject to constant subtle attacks, which over time eroded their self-confidence,.
With this discovery I realized that a lot of failed dreams in life are rooted in self- destructive patterns often programmed into individuals from childhood as a result of micro-agressive exposures.
People are suffering from generational behavioral assault that over-time has destroyed their self- confidence and undermined their potential. To break generational curses we must address our microagressive behaviors.
We can no longer engage in negative small talk or behaviors, at the expense of people, especially those that are our family and friends. Words and actions are powerful.
We have to be more attentive to how we are interacting.
Every time you interact with someone you are either building them up or tearing them down.
How can a man be fed poison and bring forth sweetness.
Our thinking is shaped by our experiences and interactions. As the saying goes, “You are (I am) the average of the five people you spend time with.”
This is how my thinking is formed.
This is how I become.
Proverbs 23:7 states, “As a man thinketh so is he. “
Rene Descartes said, “I think therfore I am. “
If it is our hope to succeed we must change how we interact, thereby changing how we think, act, and build.
Inspiraelevation 