On your journey you will inevitably come up against obstacles.
Some of these obstacles may be of your own making while others may result from factors of chance or life. But, no matter where it comes from, an obstacle is something that must be overcome.
Learn to look at all obstacles equally and strategically plan how to conquer them
The obstacle may very well be people, some who love you, and some who want not more than to see you fail.
Remember, love never wants to see you fail.
“Those who matter don’t mind, and those that mind don’t matter.”
You have to take charge of your life and determine what you want from it.
The worst thing you can do is cower in the shadow of an obstacle and give up.
Rather, use it to fuel your come up, make those obstacles into stepping stones.
Easier said than done, I know.
The unadulterated truth is,
You may have to go around the obstacle.
The journey may be long, and tedious.
But, you have to determine if the journey is worth it?
You may have to break down the obstacle.
It may be difficult and laborious, and you may need help.
But you must ask yourself is the pain worth it?
You may have to scale it.
It may get treacherous, the summit higher than you expected, and you may not be able to turn back.
But you must ask yourself is the destination worth it?
You may have to count on others to help you push it.
You have to ask yourself is the time it will take worth it?
And, if people are your obstacle, you may have to let them go. Turn the weapons used to annihilate you around on them, or do what it takes to disarm them.
You have to ask yourself am I brave enough to see this through?
If the obstacle is systemic,
you may have to make a leap into a position or profession that you didn’t plan on.
You may have to create and develop a foundation, a team, or a coalition that will dismantle the system.
You may have to go toe to toe with Goliath, Big Brother, Big pharma, whatever it might be.
You have to ask yourself what am I willing to put on the line for this?
You have to evaluate what your dreams are worth to you and calculate the risk you are willing to take to achieve them.
A lot of people are living far below their capabilities.
They are flying too low.
They are struggling through life.
And one very significant reason for this, is a striving to fit into places that they don’t belong.
This is what lends to a devaluation of one’s self; making it difficult to determine one’s actual strengths, talents, and abilities. And utterly, a deep dissatisfaction and emptiness follows.
But, it is a pain that does not have to exist. It is a self-inflicted pain. It comes from trying to force oneself into situations, positions, and groups where you don’t belong.
You should never have to prove your worth or fight to belong.
Unfortunately, before one can go on to reach his or her full potential, he or she must be able to discern the difference between where they do and do not fit in.
Things begin to change when one realizes that his or her worth is not dependent on inclusion into certain groups or the opinions of others.
That an inability to fit does not indicate that you are without worth just that you have to search new horizons.
An eagle will never realize its potential among hawks or a swan among ducklings.
So, if you find yourself constantly trying to get people to see your worth, you have to stop.
Love yourself enough to walk away.
To stay is just to continuously punish yourself.
“What is for you is for you, and no one can take it!”
It should never be a struggle for people to see how great you are.
The right people will see it. They will recognize it. They will embrace you completely flaws and all.
The goal in life is to be happy.
Happiness can’t be bought or bargained for, it should come easy.
You have an unconditional value so seek those who recognize and celebrate this.
One question that seems to be prevalent in today society is why are we failing as individuals, as a people, as a society?
I venture, the answer is;
We are the reason we are failing.
We are self-sabotaging our own success and potential.
But, How?
I am sure by now most understand that success is built.
Success is not happenstance. One just doesn’t wake up successful.
Success is the outcome of a series of intentional contributions toward a specific goal or objective.
Success is not individualistic.
Inversely no one fails on their own.
No one succeeds or accomplishes anything on their own, contrary to the belief of some.
Generational wealth is built, over time, usually through the concentrated efforts of more than one individual, and it is the same with success.
One has to make purposeful contributions that will move him or her, their family, nation, or society toward a goal.
Actions are the smallest units in building success. Each action performed on a consistent basis builds habits. Skill, character, and knowledge result from habit building.
Success takes purposeful, directed action.
Just as one can build success one action and habit at a time one can also destroy potential for success one action or habit at time.
Continued actions of a toxic nature are antithetical to progress. Failure is the result of continued toxic actions, lending to toxic habits. Toxic habits destroy character, defile knowledge, and leave people incapable of contributing anything lasting or worthwhile.
What does that have to do with us failing as asociety, as people, as a family unit?
Toxic behaviors (micoagressive behaviors) of individuals are eroding our potential and sabotaging our success.
As individuals we help build or destroy the potential of others through our actions, speech, and behavioral interactions with others. Not all of our contributions are blatantly obvious.
Microaggressions are small subtle toxic actions, behaviors, often subtle that we communicate to others via our interactions. This is often looked at through the lens of race.
As Dictonary.com defines it “a microaggression is a subtle but offensive comment or action directed at a minority or other non dominant group that is often unintentional or unconsciously reinforces a stereotype.”
However, micro-agressive behaviorism is not isolated to race alone. Micro-agressive behavior, no matter who it is inflicted upon, is destructive and is at the root of mass failure.
How I came to draw this conclusion
Recently I was fully engaged in a profound documentary. This documentary focused on issues that a specific subset of individuals faced. The issues were incessant and contributed to a great deal of suffering. The pain was so deeply rooted that it was generational in nature.
The purpose of the documentary was to get to the root of the suffering, to expose the rot at the root that it might be eventually pulled up and the suffering relieved. The hopeful outcome being a cessation of the perpetuation of a longstanding ill.
In my observation there was one thing that most of the suffers had in common. They were all subjects of microagressive behaviors. Someone, somewhere in their lives had interacted with them in an extremely negative manner under the guise of friendship, love, familial bonds, or well-intentioned friendships. These subjects had been in some manner subject to constant subtle attacks, which over time eroded their self-confidence,.
With this discovery I realized that a lot of failed dreams in life are rooted in self- destructive patterns often programmed into individuals from childhood as a result of micro-agressive exposures.
People are suffering from generational behavioral assault that over-time has destroyed their self- confidence and undermined their potential. To break generational curses we must address our microagressive behaviors.
We can no longer engage in negative small talk or behaviors, at the expense of people, especially those that are our family and friends. Words and actions are powerful.
We have to be more attentive to how we are interacting.
Every time you interact with someone you are either building them up or tearing them down.
How can a man be fed poison and bring forth sweetness.
Our thinking is shaped by our experiences and interactions. As the saying goes, “You are (I am) the average of the five people you spend time with.”
This is how my thinking is formed.
This is how I become.
Proverbs 23:7 states, “As a man thinketh so is he. “
Rene Descartes said, “I think therfore I am. “
If it is our hope to succeed we must change how we interact, thereby changing how we think, act, and build.
We must make sure that in our initiatives to save the world that we don’t leave some behind.
As Donne author of Meditation XVII Surmised,
“All mankind is of one author, and is one volume. And perchance I may think myself so much better than I am. No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well” (Jokinen).
The world is suffering and many are moaning and reeling under the weight and pressure of a world upended .
The world is disrobing, shedding the false realities wherein it was cloaked. All its inhabitants are feeling the affects.
Not all the suffering has been visible. Not all the suffering has been televised.
But undoubtedly, the deep wounds are being exposed to light that healing may begin. But in this process people are being crushed beneath the pressure
Some may ask why must that matter to me?
Donne goes on to say, “… But this bell that tells me of his affliction, digs out, and applies that gold to me: if by this consideration of another’s danger, I take mine own into contemplation” (Jokinen).
I reason that what another suffers, I could very well suffer. And when I think of this I think of the need to do something.
Such warrants a moment of reflection.
A few days ago when perusing social media I discovered a news piece that brought me to tears.
A young and talented writer with much acclaimed success had taken her life, at only 39 years old. While her work was stellar, and her success solidified, none of that could save her from her suffering.
Thus, I cried.
Why may you ask?
Because, I am very familiar with the fight one wages against anxiety and depression, which it is documented that she also battled. And, her death diminished me. I saw in her a reflection of who I was. I understood that the same bell that tolled for her could have tolled for me.
I know that this is a battle that many have fought and are still fighting alone. And, living in current times; times of uncertainty, revelation, struggle, and adjustment does not make it any easier. We are all being affected in some way.
Healing begins when we all fight together.
I am calling on all who are making a stand, who are doing what is in their power to right the world not to forget those suffering in silence. Don’t forget your own families and people within your communities.
Check in, stand in the trenches with those who are hurting and help them fight their battles. Lets help alleviate suffering wherever it may be.
Jokinen Anniina. “Devotions Upon Emergent Occasions: Meditation
Getting on in the world is difficult for a lot of people. The fact that life is not easy comes as no surprise to those of us who have lived for some time.
A few days ago a wrote an article about a call to action, a call to stand up and do something. In that article I did not address the loneliness or isolation that can come with taking a stand.
The truth is that taking a stand may very well earn you a lot of enemies. People who you thought were your friends may isolate you.
One of the most important lessons that you will ever learn in life is that not everyone is going to like you, and that’s okay.
Not everyone is going to appreciate your efforts, who you are, or what you do. Not everyone is going to care like you do.
So, I want to encourage you.
I want you to know that there are people out there who do appreciate what you do. There are people out there who will stand with you.
Don’t let those who don’t stand with you stop you from standing. Don’t let them stop you from being the person that you are. The world needs you.
As Martin Luther King eloquently penned in his Birmingham Letter, “We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. More and more I feel that the people of ill will have used time much more effectively than have the people of good will. We will have to repent in this generation not merely for the hateful words and actions of the bad people but for the appalling silence of the good people. Human progress never rolls in on wheels of inevitability; it comes through the tireless efforts of men willing to be co workers with God, and without this hard work, time itself becomes an ally of the forces of social stagnation.”
Inspiraelevation 