Tag: Motivation

How: A Birthing Process

April 27th, 2022
The last few articles have explored the importance of inquiry and where the questions what if, what, why, and when fit in the process of reaching for our dreams.

Understand there will be endless questions along the journey, and they will come fast and furious. However, most are framed within the six fundamental asks, what, when, why, where, who, and how.

The Question How.

How is an inquiry that typically goes hand in hand with the question when?

Most of us who anticipate the outcomes of our efforts want to know when we will see the results and how?
- How will our dreams come to fruition?
- How will we know we have arrived?
- How will it all be in the end?
The Miracle of the Wait!

There is one genuinely miraculous thing about planting a seed, the how.

You see, we know what we plant.

And we have an idea of what that plant may look like when it sprouts.

However, we will not know how beautiful it will be until it blooms.

Photo by Anna Gru on Unsplash

The How is always a Miracle.

The only hand we really have in the process of growth is planting and nourishing. But unfortunately, we can’t see the work happening beneath the soil.

It’s a lot like a baby growing within the womb. We know that it’s happening. We have an idea of what is happening. There is an inkling of what the outcome will look like. We even have a tentative when. But the how is out of our control.

The Birthing Process

Photo by Jonathan Borba on Unsplash

We have no idea how the limbs form or how they knit together. We are just witnesses of the process. So there is no choice but to let the process take care of itself. This takes the most enormous leap of faith.

But there is no need for dismay. The extraordinary sense of awe one gets to experience when everything finally comes together is indescribable and well worth every pang experienced.

An Experience I well Understand

I am a testament to this. My womb has held five beautiful seeds. And miraculously, I have had the opportunity to birth four of those four beautiful children. I had no idea how it all came together each time, but it did. And each time, I was awed. And giving birth to your dreams is no different.

So I charge you to hang in there and enjoy the process. Because what is up ahead will be unbelievably breathtaking.
Uncertainty/Unavoidable Suffering

April 11th, 2022
Image by Santiago Lacarta from Pixabay

We face many things in life merely because we are human.

Humanity comes with a host of benefits and thorns, and the stage of life is inconsequential. We all will inevitably deal with two factors, uncertainty, and unavoidable Suffering

Unavoidable Suffering

It’s nice to think of a life that is free of pain.

But unfortunately, that is rarely the case.

Pain is an inevitable part of life as much as joy. Let’s face it we will have to deal with the complexities of pain and life’s uncertainty eventually. That is the curse of humanity.

You Never Have to Walk Alone

There is no justifiable rationale for walking your path alone. There is no reason that your pain should turn to misery and incapacitation.

Once we realize that we do not walk this road alone and others exist to prop, lift, or carry us, our burdens will be lighter as we traverse those paths.

My desire is to be that person and help others find fulfillment in life.

Fulfillment in Times of Uncertainty

What do I mean by fulfillment?

Fulfillment is a serenity, a peace with life, and all that comes with it. It is being able to deal with uncertainty and yet live in a state of repose, knowing everything will turn out okay. Fulfillment is being filled with so much hope that there is little room for emptiness.

Feeling Fulfilled is not Easy.

Fulfillment requires an understanding that life is uncertain, change is inevitable, and you will have pain at some points. It is part and parcel of wearing the skin we are in.

However, true fulfillment comes with the acceptance and the willingness to exert every effort to move forward, progress, and reach despite this knowledge.

It’s a process of getting beyond the uncertainty and unavoidable suffering

Feeling fulfilled is a process that frequently requires going through uncertainty and unavoidable suffering to learn the lessons.

Because growth is eventual, not immediate.

Personal Account of Uncertainty

I once felt that change was a plague in my life. I loathed change. I would freeze up when presented with change, no matter what face it took. But the thing is, my life seemed to change in significant ways frequently, often in short periods.

All I could ask was why? It felt like a bane to my existence.

My Desires

I desired comfort above challenge.

Certainty above growth is the direction I leaned towards.

Consistency is what I craved.

But I was unaware of how much I was being blessed.

Life was choosing me to attend its masterclass to propel my growth in ways unfathomable.

Path Ahead

I still don’t believe that I have a complete understanding of the size of my blessings. I am learning that;
- growth does not occur in moments of comfort.
- Muscles don’t expand in moments of leisure.
- Greatness, for the most part, is born out of adversity.
While our paths and pains may be divergent, the result is the same. Tests and trials strengthen us and improve our agility and acuity. Difficulties come to make us strong.

Some Sage Advice on Uncertainty and Unavoidable Suffering

Peter Sage says, “The measure of one’s success is directly proportional to how much uncertainty one can accept.”

Uncertainty is not the enemy.
It’s your greatest ally. Make love with uncertainty. Uncertainty is the core of the quantum field we’re all part of.
It’s your natural habitat.
Love it.

… or learn to, if you don’t already.”
― Laurence BL

A Word for You

No one is expecting you to lovingly embrace uncertainty.

On the contrary, the expectation is that you recognize uncertainty for what it is but move with the understanding there is always something on the other side. Perhaps what is waiting is more incredible than what was on the side of comfort and supposed security.

So, walk this journey with me. Why not believe there is a possibility of greater fulfillment. There will always be someone there to help you along the path if you open your heart to it. I am growing to believe that wholeheartedly.
EGO (Edging God Out)

March 24th, 2022
Photo by mariel reiser on Unsplash

The market is replete with literature on instructions for goal accomplishment. And this is for good reasons. We all want to be fulfilled. Where there is a need, a market always arises to meet the demand. So, there is no surprise that the information out there is massive. And much of it is helpful provided one finds the right system.

Self-Determination

Much of personal growth and success material focuses on self-determination and pulling oneself up by their bootstraps.

Undoubtedly, It is 100% true your dreams will not work for you unless you do. However, that is only part of it.

EGO

Sometimes we lose sight of what’s vital in our quest to succeed. We lose sight of a purpose. And our I’s become too big. Our trek becomes one huge selfish endeavor.

There are so many goals or dreams upon which we could direct our sights. But, for most, the search for success, achievement, or fulfillment all boils down to one word” Significance!” Most desires arise out of a need to be significant.

Significance

That is an excellent word. Significance indicates a sense of importance or value. There is no better feeling or desire than wanting to be valued and feel important. Those who have gained significance in the world have made some unimaginable contributions So a desire to leave a mark on the world is, as one would say, a grand pursuit.

To Be Seen/Heard

Desiring to be seen and not melt into the fiber of existence is how most want to see their lives. Face it, who wants to leave the world feeling as if they were never here.

I, for one, wish to leave the world knowing that my life meant something that I mattered.

Noble/EGO Driven

On the face of things, it seems noble to desire significance. And to lay it plain, there is nothing wrong with it. However, the problem is when one’s reach for meaning becomes EGO-driven.

What do you mean?

If an individual’s quest for significance is fueled by the need to prove a point or garner respect, it’s probably EGO-driven. Or if the pursuit of Significance is to garner acceptance and love, then it’s a pretty good indicator it’s EGO driven. EGO Driven behavior always looks to see how it will benefit self.

The plight of EGO driven Pursuits

While it seems noble to pursue significance, to do so for selfish motives is a matter of self-aggrandization (inflation). Simply, it is for show.

Then some wonder why nothing is working out.

Why do things seem to work against them rather than for them?

Well, It’s because there is ambiguity under the surface.

My Search for Significance

Photo by Pop & Zebra on Unsplash

Viktor Frankl once wrote a book entitled “Man’s Search for Meaning,” and it is an excellent read. Admittedly on my current trajectory. I am on a search for the intent underlying my vision.

You see, I want to ensure that my reason for following the path I am on is pure. I want to make sure it is not out of a selfish desire. It is essential for me to ensure the motive behind my pursuits are not EGO driven (Edging God Out)

EGO (Edging God Out)

When we work in ourselves, we can only do things in our strength. We do the best we can, put forth our greatest effort. And yet, there is so much we still don’t know. So, when we rely on ourselves (EGO), we limit ourselves.

However, when we surrender to a higher power, we lock into a more significant power source. We open ourselves to more excellent opportunities. We open ourselves to unlimitable possibilities as opposed to when we operate in self, for self, and because of self. It is then we are operating on pure EGO. That is something we cannot sustain.

” Success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself.” -Viktor Frankl

A Word for You

Consider your motivations.

Look at the rationale behind your purpose. What are you striving for?
- Do you desire to be a performer because you love it and want to share your gift with the world, or is the desire instead to be cherished and applauded?
- Do you want to be a doctor to heal others, or do you want prestige, acceptance, and esteem?
- Do you want to start a charity out of a desire to give back or be recognized as benevolent?
When you start considering your motivations, you will realize what is holding you back.

Unadulterated Truth

Photo by Meghna R on Unsplash

When you seek significance out of a pure place then you will receive what you are looking for! When you give, honestly give, without an expectation, and that is when it will be given back to you in ways unimaginable and you will start to experience greater fulfillment.

“Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” –
Luke 6: 38
Profiling an Overcomer: A Champion

March 21st, 2022

Life is full of challenges. This is not a new concept to anyone who has lived, But life is not only filled with challenges. Life is also filled with opportunities.

And in fact, depending on your mindset, the challenges are nothing more than cloaked opportunities. And those who see it as such tend to rise above.

They don’t stay down for the count when they are knocked down. In fact, when they fall, they are thankful for the pause. This has given them the opportunity to be grounded, look up, look within, and find that second wind, and often they come back swinging. They are that much stronger than before.

A Contender or a Champion

What is the skill that sets a Contender apart from a Champion?

What is it that these people do differently?

There are a lot of answers to that question, but there is one thing, in particular, these formidable spirits have learned.

They have learned the art of responding to life rather than reacting to life.

Some unquestionably are scratching their heads right now as they have for long-lived, assuming both are the same.

But they are not.

A reaction is a guttural response to something that has happened to one’s person. It’s automatic. It takes little thought.

For example, if an individual cuts you off, you give the person a piece of your mind without stopping to think about what that person might be going through. It is a poor way to interact with the world and usually calls more pain than anything. People who quickly react often find themselves cleaning up their messes later.

First Responders: Champions in the Making

Those who have learned to respond have discovered the beauty of stopping to think before acting. These are those who have mastered the art of turning challenges into opportunities.

The Process

They stop to assess the challenge and turn it over in their mind.

They assess what is needed to surmount the challenge rather than running headfirst into it.

A Tale of a Little Champion

There is a tale of a little train of which many have heard.

There once was a train miniature in stature that came up against an almost insurmountable obstacle. The further the train went, the harder it seemed. But this little train wasn’t ordinary. He was rather Extraordinary.

That little engine knew how to respond to its challenge. It didn’t stop when it was faced with what seemed like an impossibility.

When every bit of logic contended, it should give up because the wall it faced was ginormous and unscalable.

It didn’t give up. It looked at the obstacle and said ‘I think I can until it knew it could!”

Photo by Casey Horner on Unsplash

My story: Transforming from Contender to Champion

I am still learning day today. There have been many times I have reacted in life even overreacted. And by grace, it didn’t lay me horizontally. permanently. Sometimes we sit in life’s classroom repeating the exam until we learn the lesson.

I am learning to apply the lessons. I am becoming a student of life. One of the outcomes of my lesson is learning to respond to life’s challenges. And I am being blessed like never before.

Back to the Beginning

Returning to what I said at the beginning.

At the start, I offered opposing views of reality permitting you to see two sides of the coin. However, for those whose desire to become champions there need only exist one side of the coin.

This is the reality they must learn to put before them every day.

That is,

In reality, there are no challenges only opportunities.

Life is full of opportunities to better yourself and to become wildly successful,

“You don’t become enormously successful without encountering a number of extremely challenging problems.” Mark Victor Hansen

Final Words the Final Transformation

So If you dream of a fulfilling life or living out your wildest dream, then begin by reframing how you look at life.

Learn the art of surrender.

Learn to take life as it comes.

Look at what comes at you with a more open mind and attempt to find the silver lining in those gray clouds.

You may be surprised by what you observe

In the words of Cicely Tyson,

“Challenges make you discover things about yourself that you never really knew.”

And they will help you rise to heights never imagined.
Where do you Reside?

March 14th, 2022
Photo by Andrea Piacquadio: https://www.pexels.com/photo/collage-photo-of-woman-3812743/

We all have a place we live, a place we call home.

When one asks where one lives, they often refer to a specific location, country, city, town, or neighborhood.

Today I pose the question that you may look at it in a different light.

I want to know where you reside internally?

Where do you set up your home?

Your Neighborhood (Residence)

“when it comes to emotions, we are designed to feel and experience them all. The only difference is where you live and where you visit?” – Peter Sage (The Inside Track)

We reside in the emotional state where we spend the most time.

So, where do you reside?

Does your listing reflect the truth?

Listing Your Residence

A real estate listing indicates the location and value of a home.

And as an individual, your external (actions/behavior) is like a real-estate listing.

What the world sees is a walking advertisement of where you live mentally.

So knowing where you live is important. Because If your permanent way of thinking is pessimistic, pessimism is your home address. That is the state others will find you in most of the time. You may be able to fool yourself but you will be unable to fool others. Your speech and action will give away your residence.

Visitation vs. Residence

Although we spend most of our time at our residence, from time to time, we leave. We visit other places. We even have lengthy vacations.

The difference is, those who visit always go back to their residences.

So the emotional states they visit or vacation to never determine their total identity/

One positive thought does not make one an optimist.

However, a pessimist is not excluded from having moments of optimism. But the optimist will rise from the pessimistic state and return to where they live.

However;
“If you live in stress and ocassionally visit joy, that’s a very different life to say, living in peace and ocassionally visiting fear.” (Sage 15)

So, I ask, where do you reside?

What is your permanent mental residence?

Because understanding is a powerful beginning for shaping your life into the life you want.

Let’s not forget that the little emotions are the great captains of our lives and we obey them without realizing it. –Vincent van Gogh

How Does This Help?

One can’t know how to change unless one recognizes what needs to be changed.

The Importance of Self-examination

So I Implore you today to take inventory. Look at the state you most find yourself in.
- Are you unhappy a lot?
- Do you want to be happier or more content?
Then you must reframe your experiences. You must choose to spend more time on the positive side of life.

Residing on The Bright Side (Changing Your Residence)

If one looks closer, one will always find at least one positive in a situation.

So the thing to do is to make that one positive bigger than the negatives.

Make it so big it overshadows the negative.

Make that the forefront of your focus.

You will find the more you commit to this the more positive you become. You will find yourself residing on the bright side.

Of course, it’s not as easy as relocating from your physical address. But the transformation is worth it.

When your inner world begins to shift, so does your outer world.