A vice is a strong and consuming desire that leads to feelings of shame and guilt when acted upon. To qualify as a vice, a set of established moral principles must dictate certain behaviors as undesirable or unacceptable. These principles can be shaped by the individual’s own conscience, someone they look up to and respect or a societal code. Even when trying to resist the strong temptation, the person ends up giving in, leading to feelings of shame and guilt. This unrelenting desire becomes a vice—an insatiable craving for something unethical or immoral, a willful betrayal of societal norms and laws.

The Fallacy of Discipline

Contrary to common belief, stricter avoidance methods and harsh punishments do not effectively eradicate vices entirely. Instead, they may even exacerbate the problem by driving individuals further into secrecy and denial.

According to Psychology Today

• With lying, you avoid dealing with a problem by claiming it isn’t true. If you are caught, you’ll deal with it later.
• With avoidance, you lie to yourself by putting something off that’s to be dealt with now.

Lying involves words; avoidance involves deeds.

Both are normal from a developmental point of view. But, if we fail to grow out of them, we suffer. Neither technique works in adult life.

These measures only provide temporary relief and fail to address the underlying issue. Despite strong self-discipline and personal standards, moments of temptation can still sneak in and linger like a heavy fog.

From Yearning to Liberation

The struggle to resist intensifies as the yearning deepens, taunting and enticing further. When someone finally gives in, a wave of guilt sweeps them away. How can one liberate themselves from the grip of a detrimental habit?

There needs to be a deeper change or understanding (transformation).

Transformation requires a deep internal change and acceptance of external situations, transitioning from old habits to new beginnings.

Genuine change is a complex process that requires internal transformation and acceptance of external circumstances. It is like shedding an old skin and embracing a new identity. To overcome a destructive habit, you need to introspect deeply, identify the underlying reasons for the desire, and address them at their core. This is no easy task, but once the desire has been uprooted, the harmful behavior will also fade away.

The key to lasting change is for a person to reach a state where engaging in such actions no longer brings them joy (pseudo satisfaction).

For example, if someone is trying to quit smoking, they may need to delve into their past traumas or triggers that cause them to turn to cigarettes for comfort. By addressing these underlying issues and finding healthier coping mechanisms, they can slowly overcome their addiction and eventually reach a point where smoking no longer provides them with any satisfaction.

This internal transformation and acceptance of external circumstances are essential for genuine change to occur—not because they are following rules or restrictions, but simply because they have no desire for them anymore.

True Alignment

On the other hand, one could also embrace one’s desires and acknowledge that one does not conform to the norms of those around them. One may begin to recognize that one’s beliefs and values differ from those around them, causing inner conflict and perhaps a sense of shame.

By distancing themselves from those who condemn their desires or hold conflicting ideals, they can create space for self-acceptance and alignment with their ethics, beliefs, and behaviors. This journey towards authenticity and self-discovery is powerful as it enables individuals to align their actions with their true values and beliefs, empowering them to live authentically.

For example, a person may realize that their passion lies in pursuing a non-traditional career path, such as becoming an artist or entrepreneur, instead of conforming to the expectations of their family or society. Staying in the space where your inner beliefs constantly conflict with those surrounding you will cause pressure. You are in a constant battle to be yourself, as in being yourself and believing what you do is condemned.

The Perils of Inauthencity

By surrounding themselves with supportive friends and mentors who share similar values, one can cultivate the courage to embrace their unique aspirations, likes, and dislikes. This shift towards authenticity not only brings a sense of fulfillment and purpose but also ultimately leads to a more genuine and meaningful life experience.

Living as someone other than your true self and behaving in ways that go against your nature invites a simmering rage and an overwhelming sense of resentment leading to inner turmoil. This internal turmoil bubbles and boils like a cauldron of self-loathing, threatening to consume and crush the person under its weight. It eventually drives the individual towards the things they despise. They may seek revenge on those who set the principles as they feel betrayed.

The Power of Integrity

However, conquering vices demands an unwavering commitment to integrity. An internal moral compass must serve as a guide for thoughts and actions that are in line with unwavering belief. You must know yourself and then decide to be true to what you know. If you cannot live without something, change your community of those who accept it, and you will lose the shame. If you know that it stems from a place that requires adaptation, then you commit to the work of eliminating the emptiness. If you know that the emptiness stems from a wound that needs healing, then you commit to the work of self-discovery and growth.

Establishing a supportive community of people who share your values and aspirations eliminates the need for rules or laws from outside sources because those who live by their principles feel unrestricted in their actions. When one follows one’s own path, guided by inner goodness, everything falls into place effortlessly—doubts dissipate, challenges diminish, and one evolves into an unstoppable force progressing towards genuine and pure righteousness.