The last few articles have explored the importance of inquiry and where the questions what if, what, why, and when fit in the process of reaching for our dreams.
Understand there will be endless questions along the journey, and they will come fast and furious. However, most are framed within the six fundamental asks, what, when, why, where, who, and how.
The Question How.
How is an inquiry that typically goes hand in hand with the question when?
Most of us who anticipate the outcomes of our efforts want to know when we will see the results and how?
How will our dreams come to fruition?
How will we know we have arrived?
How will it all be in the end?
The Miracle of the Wait!
There is one genuinely miraculous thing about planting a seed, the how.
You see, we know what we plant.
And we have an idea of what that plant may look like when it sprouts.
However, we will not know how beautiful it will be until it blooms.
The only hand we really have in the process of growth is planting and nourishing. But unfortunately, we can’t see the work happening beneath the soil.
It’s a lot like a baby growing within the womb. We know that it’s happening. We have an idea of what is happening. There is an inkling of what the outcome will look like. We even have a tentative when. But the how is out of our control.
We have no idea how the limbs form or how they knit together. We are just witnesses of the process. So there is no choice but to let the process take care of itself. This takes the most enormous leap of faith.
But there is no need for dismay. The extraordinary sense of awe one gets to experience when everything finally comes together is indescribable and well worth every pang experienced.
An Experience I well Understand
I am a testament to this. My womb has held five beautiful seeds. And miraculously, I have had the opportunity to birth four of those four beautiful children. I had no idea how it all came together each time, but it did. And each time, I was awed. And giving birth to your dreams is no different.
So I charge you to hang in there and enjoy the process. Because what is up ahead will be unbelievably breathtaking.
In the line of questioning, reasonably, the first question one typically asks is what and then why?
But once we have figured out what we desire and our purpose (the why), logically, we ask when.
Two Times That the Question When is Our Biggest Inquiry
There are two times where the question of when becomes one’s primary focus. The first is while one is at the start of the journey, while the other is when one is well on the way to fulfilling their desire.
The First Time One Raises the Inquiry When
The first time one raises the inquiry when, is in determining a time frame to set adrift; asking questions such as,
When do I start?
As much as one may want guidance in this area, this is a personal question. No one can tell you the right time to start your journey. To determine readiness, it’s something you must sit with and assess
Shetty, who is the author of this phenomenal book entitled Think Like a Monk, so eloquently points out,
Sometimes it helps to sit with a question in the back of your mind for a day, even a week. Then, very often, you’ll find that what you are ultimately searching for is an internal feeling.” (Shetty 74)
So with this in mind, it becomes obvious that knowing when to take a leap is as much a feeling as anything. However, even given this knowledge, one thing remains sure, if you never start, you will never get where you are going. So never procrastinate.
Think about it for a moment.
There will never be a tomorrow, and yesterday is way too late, so now is all you will ever have.
The Second Time One raises the Inquiry When
There is yet another time where when becomes the primary driver. That time comes while looking to the horizon after much work and effort has been applied.
The questions most asked are;
When is it going to come true for me?
When is it going to all come together?
Unfortunately, this is also a question no one can answer for us.
Things take time.
There are no definitive timelines or dates when it comes to fulfilling goals.
There are no magic eight balls that can reveal when everything we have worked for will pay off.
We can set deadlines and work towards that time frame. Yet, there will still be so much that must fall into place to fulfill our dreams.
So, when is as miraculous a thing as any?
Not Knowing When Something Will Happen, Doesn’t Mean You Don’t Work.
Face it, despite not having a definitive when; there will never be a success without action.
You must press on anyway. Because to reap a harvest, the seed must be in the ground.
Shetty said it like this,
Nor can we expect someone to fund us, discover how amazing we are, and hand us our place in the world. Nobody is going to create our lives for us.”
So, assuredly If you are willing to put in the work, the when will come if you believe.
Here is Where Your Why Comes In
You must use your purpose to carry you all the way. Because while you are waiting, when things get a little challenging, your purpose will sustain you. Then,
“The work itself will bring you a sense of fulfillment even if you don’t succeed as quickly, or ever” (79)
Inquiry means to question. It is the process by which we find insight.
Inquiry is an investigation, a seeking after. It is a tool that drives knowledge.
As one person once said, the more you know, the more you grow.
And in the words of another,
“Part of being successful is about asking questions and listening to the answers.” Anne Burrell
The Purpose of this Series
So, this series touches on some of the most important points of inquiry one will put forth in their life. With great hope, this series may guide you into asking better questions. Or, it may also help you determine which question you should be asking to move forward and live your best life. Whatever measure you might find this useful, hopefully, it serves to motivate you.
There are six major investigative questions, as most of us have learned from our grade school studies. Those questions are what, why, when, where, who, and how? And as an extra measure, I included the question, what if at the start of this series.
What is an inquiry of direction? It is the question one poses when definition or clarity is needed.
In life, one must remember that it is impossible to go anywhere or accomplish anything unless they have defined their what.
And, so it is, what becomes one of the most important guiding questions on the path to success.
Very Little Clarity at the Start
Starting is never as simple as it seems. You might not always have everything figured out when you start on a path. In fact, you may be very confused because acclimation is a process.
And confirmation often comes after the start.
That is why “what” is one of the best questions one can ask when setting on a path to better understanding?
In all our lives, we have a period of learning ourselves. This period starts when we become toddlers and start exploring our world.
We then seek to understand how and where we fit in.
Funny enough, before we can completely understand ourselves and how we relate to our environments, one of the first questions we are asked is, what do we want to be when we grow up?
At the time of such an inquisition, it is rare that we even have an inkling of who we desire to be. So we go by the things we observe, the things most prevalent in our environments. That is how we determine our choice.
Our initial selection rarely becomes our last!
Sometimes it takes a lifetime to discover what we want or are meant to become.
We look at our world, our separate environments for markers, for cues to help us determine what is possible and acceptable. And, if the things that fill our imagination neither seem possible nor acceptable, we reshape our aim.
This is sad, but that is how we come to choose our paths. Fortunately, there is a silver lining.
Things don’t have to remain the way they were.
Never too Late to Find Your What?
Yes, much of what you want is shaped by your environment and peers, which can be stifling.
But it’s never too late to make alterations.
Because fortunately, if you want something enough, you have the power to shape your reality to match your desires rather than bowing to what you have been taught to believe was an impossibility.
However, this requires a constant re-examination, asking oneself,
Is this what I really want? And then what can I do about what I have discovered?
Trust that If you want to live a fulfilled life, what is a question you cannot avoid asking?
We face many things in life merely because we are human.
Humanity comes with a host of benefits and thorns, and the stage of life is inconsequential. We all will inevitably deal with two factors, uncertainty, and unavoidable Suffering
Unavoidable Suffering
It’s nice to think of a life that is free of pain.
But unfortunately, that is rarely the case.
Pain is an inevitable part of life as much as joy. Let’s face it we will have to deal with the complexities of pain and life’s uncertainty eventually. That is the curse of humanity.
You Never Have to Walk Alone
There is no justifiable rationale for walking your path alone. There is no reason that your pain should turn to misery and incapacitation.
Once we realize that we do not walk this road alone and others exist to prop, lift, or carry us, our burdens will be lighter as we traverse those paths.
My desire is to be that person and help others find fulfillment in life.
Fulfillment in Times of Uncertainty
What do I mean by fulfillment?
Fulfillment is a serenity, a peace with life, and all that comes with it. It is being able to deal with uncertainty and yet live in a state of repose, knowing everything will turn out okay. Fulfillment is being filled with so much hope that there is little room for emptiness.
Feeling Fulfilled is not Easy.
Fulfillment requires an understanding that life is uncertain, change is inevitable, and you will have pain at some points. It is part and parcel of wearing the skin we are in.
However, true fulfillment comes with the acceptance and the willingness to exert every effort to move forward, progress, and reach despite this knowledge.
It’s a process of getting beyond the uncertainty and unavoidable suffering
Feeling fulfilled is a process that frequently requires going through uncertainty and unavoidable suffering to learn the lessons.
Because growth is eventual, not immediate.
Personal Account of Uncertainty
I once felt that change was a plague in my life. I loathed change. I would freeze up when presented with change, no matter what face it took. But the thing is, my life seemed to change in significant ways frequently, often in short periods.
All I could ask was why? It felt like a bane to my existence.
My Desires
I desired comfort above challenge.
Certainty above growth is the direction I leaned towards.
Consistency is what I craved.
But I was unaware of how much I was being blessed.
Life was choosing me to attend its masterclass to propel my growth in ways unfathomable.
Path Ahead
I still don’t believe that I have a complete understanding of the size of my blessings. I am learning that;
growth does not occur in moments of comfort.
Muscles don’t expand in moments of leisure.
Greatness, for the most part, is born out of adversity.
While our paths and pains may be divergent, the result is the same. Tests and trials strengthen us and improve our agility and acuity. Difficulties come to make us strong.
Some Sage Advice on Uncertainty and Unavoidable Suffering
Peter Sage says, “The measure of one’s success is directly proportional to how much uncertainty one can accept.”
Uncertainty is not the enemy. It’s your greatest ally. Make love with uncertainty. Uncertainty is the core of the quantum field we’re all part of. It’s your natural habitat.
Love it.
… or learn to, if you don’t already.” ― Laurence BL
A Word for You
No one is expecting you to lovingly embrace uncertainty.
On the contrary, the expectation is that you recognize uncertainty for what it is but move with the understanding there is always something on the other side. Perhaps what is waiting is more incredible than what was on the side of comfort and supposed security.
So, walk this journey with me. Why not believe there is a possibility of greater fulfillment. There will always be someone there to help you along the path if you open your heart to it. I am growing to believe that wholeheartedly.
The market is replete with literature on instructions for goal accomplishment. And this is for good reasons. We all want to be fulfilled. Where there is a need, a market always arises to meet the demand. So, there is no surprise that the information out there is massive. And much of it is helpful provided one finds the right system.
Self-Determination
Much of personal growth and success material focuses on self-determination and pulling oneself up by their bootstraps.
Undoubtedly, It is 100% true your dreams will not work for you unless you do. However, that is only part of it.
EGO
Sometimes we lose sight of what’s vital in our quest to succeed. We lose sight of a purpose. And our I’s become too big. Our trek becomes one huge selfish endeavor.
There are so many goals or dreams upon which we could direct our sights. But, for most, the search for success, achievement, or fulfillment all boils down to one word” Significance!” Most desires arise out of a need to be significant.
Significance
That is an excellent word. Significance indicates a sense of importance or value. There is no better feeling or desire than wanting to be valued and feel important. Those who have gained significance in the world have made some unimaginable contributions So a desire to leave a mark on the world is, as one would say, a grand pursuit.
To Be Seen/Heard
Desiring to be seen and not melt into the fiber of existence is how most want to see their lives. Face it, who wants to leave the world feeling as if they were never here.
I, for one, wish to leave the world knowing that my life meant something that I mattered.
Noble/EGO Driven
On the face of things, it seems noble to desire significance. And to lay it plain, there is nothing wrong with it. However, the problem is when one’s reach for meaning becomes EGO-driven.
What do you mean?
If an individual’s quest for significance is fueled by the need to prove a point or garner respect, it’s probably EGO-driven. Or if the pursuit of Significance is to garner acceptance and love, then it’s a pretty good indicator it’s EGO driven. EGO Driven behavior always looks to see how it will benefit self.
The plight of EGO driven Pursuits
While it seems noble to pursue significance, to do so for selfish motives is a matter of self-aggrandization (inflation). Simply, it is for show.
Then some wonder why nothing is working out.
Why do things seem to work against them rather than for them?
Well, It’s because there is ambiguity under the surface.
Viktor Frankl once wrote a book entitled “Man’s Search for Meaning,” and it is an excellent read. Admittedly on my current trajectory. I am on a search for the intent underlying my vision.
You see, I want to ensure that my reason for following the path I am on is pure. I want to make sure it is not out of a selfish desire. It is essential for me to ensure the motive behind my pursuits are not EGO driven (Edging God Out)
EGO (Edging God Out)
When we work in ourselves, we can only do things in our strength. We do the best we can, put forth our greatest effort. And yet, there is so much we still don’t know. So, when we rely on ourselves (EGO), we limit ourselves.
However, when we surrender to a higher power, we lock into a more significant power source. We open ourselves to more excellent opportunities. We open ourselves to unlimitable possibilities as opposed to when we operate in self, for self, and because of self. It is then we are operating on pure EGO. That is something we cannot sustain.
” Success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side effect of one’s personal dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself.” -Viktor Frankl
A Word for You
Consider your motivations.
Look at the rationale behind your purpose. What are you striving for?
Do you desire to be a performer because you love it and want to share your gift with the world, or is the desire instead to be cherished and applauded?
Do you want to be a doctor to heal others, or do you want prestige, acceptance, and esteem?
Do you want to start a charity out of a desire to give back or be recognized as benevolent?
When you start considering your motivations, you will realize what is holding you back.
When you seek significance out of a pure place then you will receive what you are looking for! When you give, honestly give, without an expectation, and that is when it will be given back to you in ways unimaginable and you will start to experience greater fulfillment.
“Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.” –
Inspiraelevation 