Category: Uncategorized

Mirror Mirror on the Wall: It Was You After All!

February 2nd, 2022

Image by creatifrankenstein from Pixabay

Dream Blocker: You

I have given a few of the more significant roadblocks that serve as dream blockers. But, whether or not you have considered it, there are many more things that can block one from living their best life or achieving their dreams

All funnel from one source. Self!

The biggest dream blocker one will ever encounter is themselves!

You Draw: From an Intrinsic Well.

Mindset, distraction, relationships — they all source from you.

You are the common denominator. And, nothing can block progress unless given allowance.

Stick with me…

I am the mother of a lovely little guy who is persistent. That is to be celebrated because persistence begets acquiescence.

When he wants something, he makes sure I know.

He will do whatever is necessary to convince me. If I’m not attentive, he will look, ask, plead, cry, even work for it.

Whatever it takes, he commits.

My Tiny Counter.

My little one loves counting. That little fellow rattles off numbers and equations regularly and incessantly. This is expected because counting is his passion.

Day in and day out, he calculates. He does computations in his head. His affinity gets bigger and bigger daily.

An Account of a Miniature Mathematician

Photo by Keira Burton from Pexels

Yesterday it was particularly annoying. After 15 minutes of listening to my little boy count upwards into the 100,000s, I lovingly suggested a pause. I told him to give his mind time to relax. I gave him options.

He wished to count. I hurt his feelings when I told him to give it a minute. He was almost in tears. Right then I realized he didn’t just like counting, he loved to calculate. Why? because the idea of restriction from his heart’s yearning felt painful. He thought I was taking something from him.

However, he did what mommy said. He took a break.

However, he knew what he wanted to do. After five minutes passed, he returned, saying, “Mommy, I took a break!”

“I’m finished,” he replied!

“Can I count now!”

I answered “okay!”

The Lesson !

I mentioned all that to say; he understood his desire. He let nothing stand in his way from doing what he wanted. Why? Because the desire was heart led.

Back to The Real Deal.

Nothing can be a distraction if your sights are set.

Honestly, if your belief is, achievement is possible, half of the work to establish the right mindset has already been done.

If it is your desire, you will get around people who push and encourage.

If you understand how important your dream is, your aim will always be to form the right relationships with money, food, and yourself.

Remaining where you are will never be satisfying.

Fundamentally, the very foundation of succeeding is examining if you wish to succeed.

Time for Self-Examination.

The fruits speak for themselves.

Mahatma Gandhi said, “Action Expresses Priorities.”

So, if it is difficult to pinpoint why you can’t obtain what you’ve planned to accomplish, keep reading?

If you don’t understand why finishing what you start is hard, don’t stop reading?

Finally, if you can’t figure out why you are stationary, (not the envelope)read further.

Time for You to Take Massive Action.

Sit down with yourself? By yourself? Be honest ?

Answer this question, What do I want?

Don’t kid yourself.

To thy own self be true… because the key to achieving the unimaginable begins with what’s inside of you.
Binding Ties of Relationship

January 29th, 2022

Dream Blockers: Relationships

When one raises the topic of relationships, the first thing that comes to mind is typically a connection with friends, family, or romantic partners.

However, there’s Always More Beneath the Surface
Despite what this topic may inspire you to presume, I challenge you to think broader.

As individuals, we form a multitudinous number of relationships in our lives. We build connections to everything. From our first breath, we interact with the world. Those interactions affect how we see the things or people who cross our paths. Yet, we aren’t always aware.

The Binding Ties (Our Relationship)

Relationships are essential factors of success. We need people. So, it does us well to establish good relationships with others. However, interpersonal relationships are not the only critical factors.

Three other highly critical relational factors heavily affect our success: our relationship to food, money, and ourselves.

Yes, you heard right.

Whether we recognize it, our relationships with these three factors determine how successful we shall be.

Improper and poor relationships equal stagnation, regression, and ultimately failure.

A healthy relationship sets you on a path to success. But, in the words of Michael Todd, “You won’t experience mansion-sized miracles with porta-potty principles.”

What do I mean?

Our connections with food, money, and ourselves are reflected in our habits and approaches to achievement.

A change in relationship= change in habit= shift in life.

Your Relationship with Food.

Our body derives energy from our food sources. Food is the fuel that powers our activities. However, not everyone’s relationship with food is healthy. Some have little fuel, while others keep junk in their fuselage. This points to poor operation. A minimal supply of fuel or corrupted fuel will not get you far. To upgrade your life, upgrade your relationship with food.

Some people are chronic abusers of food, while others don’t think about what they eat. Both are detrimental.

“Both the food you ingest and the way you feel about it can impact you and your life. ”

Lisa Roukin

What is a Relationship with Food?

Remember, your relationship with food determines the level of your health and wellness.

“Porta-potty principles equals porta-potty outcomes.”- Michael Todd (Author of Crazy Faith).

Weak mind, weak body, unchecked emotions are death knells. A weak mind, body, and uncontrolled emotions make success unreachable.

Personal Anecdote Break

My father once said, “I eat to live; I don’t live to eat.” I didn’t understand at the moment, but I understood it more clearly as time passed. Food is a tool. It’s a means by which we sustain a healthy state to operate at peak efficiency, nothing else and nothing more. Living to eat implies one’s relationship shifts from a mutually beneficial one-to-one of indulgence. The body doesn’t respond well to excessive consumption.

A healthy relationship with food permits an individual to move in balance. So improving one’s relationship with food is one of the primary steps toward achievement.

Your relationship with money.

A song goes, “Money, Money, Money, I got to have it!” They knew what they were talking about. That song would become an anthem for how many people live their lives.

However, like food, is an instrument. Money is also a tool. Money itself has no power. How we relate to and use money determines our base of power.

Money can drive, empower, or enslave. If money drives you, it will eventually chauffeur you off a cliff. If money is your sole motivator, your life will always be out of balance. Your life will be one of lack. Money can’t buy love, happiness, or a life.

A slave to money. If one finds themselves a slave to money, they will discover money as a hard taskmaster. As a result, an individual who wants to move to the next level won’t be free to do so.

Used correctly, money can be used as a leverage tool or as an investment vehicle.

How one relates to food and money is essential. However, how one relates to oneself is the primary force behind the success or falling short.

One’s Relationship to Self.

Those with a healthy relationship are positive and engage in activity that nourishes, nurtures, and improves factors necessary for growth and development.

People engage in activities in sync with their self-perception.

Those who maintain a negative relationship with themselves will find many difficulties in life. How? This mindset will struggle with low self-esteem, negative perceptions, negative identity, or no identity. What you perceive of yourself will determine what you perceive you can do and whether you will act.

The most important relationship you will build in life is the one with yourself. And then after that, I’d say once you have that, it may be hard work, but you can design your life. – Diane von Furstenberg

“So eat as you love yourself. Move as you love yourself. Speak as you love yourself, and act as you love yourself.”

Things will fall in line.

Upgrade your relationship, upgrade your life.
” Not in Kansas Any More?” A Change of Enviroment is a Good Thing!

January 24th, 2022

Photo by julio andres rosario ortiz on Unsplash

Dream Blocker 4: Environment

The road to success has to be paved with more than good intentions. Reaching the goals we set forth requires targeted action.

Therefore, we must put into action what we know to be true!

Endless Blockades

Distractions, a desire to be liked by others, and mindset are all factors that block progress. However, one must contend with more than these few factors to build a solid foundation for making the impossible possible.

So let’s take a closer look, if you will!

Location Location Location: Change Your Environment Change Your Life!

Putting yourself in a capacity to grow is the seed to extraordinary achievement. This often means transplantation.

In other words, change your environment change your life!!!

Environment is everything

Who we are and become results from two factors nature and nurture. That means everything that composes our character and mindset has a lot to do with our DNA. However our success has even more to do with the forces that influence us.

Nature vs. Nurture

Remember, genetic predisposition is not a limiting factor. You can choose to rise above those factors with nurture. And one’s environment is essential to making the long-lasting changes.

What is the Environment?

The environment does not only refer to a physical location. Environment is much more complex. Your environment fundamentally refers to your surroundings; who or what you surround yourself with.

This is important because our environment, will always be a determinant of the level of our reach.

“Your Body adapts to the environment you put it in” – Peter Sage

Put your body in unhealthy situations eventually you will become unhealthy!

Vultures sit with vultures, and Eagles fly with eagles. So be selective about what group you choose as your flock.

Photo by Casey Allen on Unsplash

“Proximity is power” -Tony Robbins

Foundation of this Principle: A Journey Taken

I recently sat down to listen to a session delivered by Peter Sage on building your roster of superheroes. In the session, he taught principles that were significant in creating success. As you guessed, one of those principles he emphasized was on selecting the right crowd to run with.

Why? Running with the right crowd accelerates your progression.

According to Peter Sage, this principle is founded on two primary laws; “The Law Conformity,” and “The Law of Resonance.”

What does it Mean?

Essentially, to boost your success potential, surround yourself with higher quality people so that you begin to echo the same vibration and operate at the same level.

GO where people are doing something amazing and catch the energy wave and ride it all the way to the top.

Aim to excel by choosing to be in the room with excellence.

Photo by Fredrick john on Unsplash

Upgrade your circle based on your path.

So if you find that you’re not in Kansas anymore, Well that’s a good thing, because,

“Nothing changes if nothing changes!”- Mel Robbins
Dream Blocker Series: Distractions

January 16th, 2022

Photo by Nubelson Fernandes on Unsplash

This past weekend, I have been engaged in one of the most powerful summits I have ever attended. The truly beautiful thing is the summit was 100 percent free.

The Best Things in Life Are Free

Nothing in life is free, some people assert. That is true because someone must pay, contribute, or serve for things to be accessible to others. However, it doesn’t make that gift any less free to you the recipient.

This summit was one of those gifts. The REALSuccess summit was 100% paid for by the givers, benefactors, and servants of betterment and progress.

A Bit about the Summit

For those who could not observe the RealSuccess summit attendees were treated to workshops under some remarkably exceptional leaders, motivators, movers, and shakers. A few to show up on the program were Les Brown, Robin Sharma, Peter Sage, and Deepak Chopra. And they did not disappoint. The atmosphere was rife with restorative power.

The Power of the Circle

This event was proof that there is power in a circle. There is strength when more than one person comes into agreement. And that is why we develop into the sum of the individuals with whom we devote the most time. And thus, our circle is a solid indicator of our trajectory and what pinnacle we will climb.

So, to state the motivation flowed like milk and thick honey in the summit is almost an understatement.

My Purpose

I do what I do because I understand we are enabled into specific spaces to bring back the golden nuggets which will enrich the lives of people who did not have that opportunity. We are better together, and If you succeed, so do I.

So, I will share those tidbits that stirred me up, recognizing if you clutch hold of them, they will stir you as well.

Dream Blocker 1: Distraction

One fundamental principle to achieve beyond one’s wildest dream is the intentional destruction of dream blockers. And the number one obstacle to triumph is… distraction.

Why Rid Yourself of Distraction?

Success requires energy. One requires stamina to build, refine, and move. We don’t contain perpetual reservoirs of energy within ourselves. The energy that we do retain must discharge into something.

Once potential is spent on one activity, less is in reserve for the latter. So, one step to manifesting success is to give your energy to your dream. The more energy you pour into your dream, the smoother the bricks you lay on the road to achievement.

So, you cannot afford to waste one drop of energy on things that perform as a distraction

“Addiction to distraction is the death of dreams.”- Robin Sharma

Therefore, those bastions must crash to advance.

We Choose Sanity Over Distraction

Making dreams a reality requires we do better.

We must “Better our best!”-Les Brown.

Mediocrity will never calculate to excellence. So, the distractions must go, whether TV, social media, or even people. And we must decide to let them go intentionally.

We are more than conquerors and beyond being casualties. But as Les Brown said, “If you are causal about your dream, your dream will end up a casualty!”

No one yearns to retire a dream. No one craves to sit on the bench while the other team members play the game. So don’t!

The life-shattering success you want or believe you deserve is out there.

“You must do what 95% of the population will not do.”-Robin Sharma.

Where do You Start Eliminating Diversions?

Turn off the TV, close social media, and do the work to manifest your dream. And do it without delay. As Nike Slogan so aptly delivers, “Just Do It!”

One last message

Les Brown shared one last remark before closing his part of the summit. He stated “Two thieves exist wherein your dreams are crucified between; procrastination and fear!”

So, I implore you to not let procrastination and fear rob you of what is meant for you. Instead, deliberately elect to do the work necessary.

Then we can meet at the Apex.

Genuinely, OnyxQueen
Making Peace is Often the Missing Piece

January 10th, 2022

Image by BenteBoe from Pixabay

Some things are hard, hard to understand, hard to rationalize, and/or accept. But no matter how hard those things are it is necessary to sit with those things.

Making Peace with Difficult Things Is the Precursor to Growth

The road to forgiveness is not an easy one although an extremely necessary one.

But I did Nothing Wrong?

Perhaps you did nothing wrong and it’s understandable to want an apology from others for the hurt you suffered. A word of wisdom once quoted advised a shift in perspective, forgiving someone else is not for others it is for us the sufferers.

Admittedly this is not an easy thing to understand. So let’s break it down. There is freedom in forgiveness. When a victim forgives they take back their power. They no longer wait for something they may never receive or in the manner they wish to receive. So, that past hurt can no longer control how they live, respond to others, or approach life.

Nine times out of ten the sufferer is in captivity, a loop of suffering no one can feel or experience but the individual. So the sufferer must free themselves.

Forgiving Others is One Thing But Forgiving Yourself, is a Big One.

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

I have come to realize when looking at my life one of the biggest enslavers I ever faced is my past. Holding on to the past impeded my progress. I couldn’t go forward because the past kept pulling me back like a jack in the box attached to a spring. And I know I’m not the only one.

So many are suffering due to an inability to move forward because of tethering to past hurts

Why is it so difficult?

It is hard to free yourself from an Invisible anchor. You first have to locate the anchor and purposely release it. The difficult thing about this anchor is we create it. Its hold is strengthened by an unhealthy attachment to a past that no longer exists.

You give your past power.

So How Do you Regain Your Power?

The biggest move one can make is to accept that one’s inner child suffered, forgive, and walk forward. Because there is nothing that can be changed about the past. The only thing adjustable is one’s reaction to what was.

A Story for Your Thoughts

I’m reminded of the story of a man who had a wife whom he loved. Their future was ahead of them, bright and brilliant. All that was behind was destruction. But to obtain the future meant they would have to leave everything behind. And if they did it would mean they would not only survive but thrive. It was made perfectly clear they absolutely could not look back. Forgetting all that had been, was critical. However, this was a much more difficult task than initially realized. Because the wife was tethered to what was. She could not bring herself to not look back. And so in a single life-altering moment, she chose the tether. And in an instant, she perished. -The Story of Lot’s Wife

But we are more than conquerors and this shall not be our fate!

Remember!

The past is a dead thing that only maintains shape in your mind. So stop artificially supporting it, do not give it any more of your energy. Make peace, forgive, and move forward toward wholeness and happiness. When you do you will pull your inner child from the darkness into the light. And then you will begin to experience a wholeness allowing you to breathe your energies into molding your future.

I know you can do it because we are walking this path together. And I’m here to push you or pull you if necessary. We are stronger together.