There is a word that is an essential building block of success. That word is Intention. Everything that one succeeds at begins with intention. Intention is pointed direction. It is a driving force.
Intention is motive.
The biggest tool for advancement and discernment (empowerment) is seeking out intention in yourself and others.
Not only is intention the starting marker for putting in your best it is also a ruler by which you can measure others. Understanding the intention of others will provide all the information needed for pruning relationships.
There is a saying repeated often, and it bears repeating that we rise to the level of those with whom we surround ourselves. So, if you want a good measure of where you are going, look at those you choose to hold council with.
Blind Cannot Lead the Blind.
A person with an impoverished mind cannot show you how to be wealthy. A person who isn’t a parent can’t tell you how to be a parent. Someone who has never been married can’t counsel on how to develop a deep and abiding marriage.
However, If you find yourself in a circle of people who are your equals in aspiration or have reached a level to which you aspire, then the next measure is to search out their intention.
Inequality of Intentions
Not all intentions are equal. Two people can desire the same outcome but for entirely different reasons. For example, one might desire to be rich to give back, while another may want to be rich as a means of revenge. Their sole purpose is to push their success in the face of others.
Some may want to get to know you because they are interested in developing a genuine friendship. Others have designs on you. There is an underlying motive, possibly exploitation or harm.
Always ask why?
Before you undertake something, ask yourself, why am I doing this?
Before accepting anyone into your circle, examine why you want them in your circle. And if someone approaches you with a desire to connect, ask yourself why?
When we discover our intention and the intention of others, we save ourselves a lot of pain.
What I Learned
Nine times out of ten, I have discovered when something doesn’t work out for me, it’s because it was driven by the wrong motive. When I am most let down, I look for the wrong things. My intentions are not pure.
This self-examination is not something that comes easily. It is easy to fall back into negative patterns. But it’s worth changing those habits. When changing your habits, you change your life.
Most of us have heard this statement so many times it has become almost rote, cliched, and empty.
Mind Over Matter More Than Cliche
Sometimes it takes an active example to remind us of the power of words. Especially those that have become empty and vacuous to us. Perhaps due to their overuse. This is one turn of a phrase that I can attest has an indescribable power.
Matter, in scientific terms, is defined as the substance everything we see is composed of. It is the material component of things we behold. As corny as it may sound, not only are we composed of matter but our whole being matters.
The difference between Matter and Matters
On the other hand, matters are defined as things we deal with (issues) daily. They are the encounters that move us. Matters give purpose to matter.
So, when one says to exercise mind over matter, it is a charge for one to use their mental powers to overcome whatever weaknesses present within our physical bodies or impact our physical body.
David Adams, the author of the work “The Man Who Couldn’t Stop,” penned the phrase, “Mind over matter represents the triumph of will over physical hindrance. Our thoughts are our weapon against the world.”
Exercising Mind Over Matter Is Challenging
While it seems easy enough, it’s not necessarily so.
In times of ease, it is not hard to find the mental bandwidth to rise above issues faced or turn our faces to a more positive acclimation when pained.
However, it is much harder to demonstrate the type of mental power to rise above when in the throes of debilitating pain or overwhelmed with cascading problems. That type of mental power comes from exercise. It comes from shaping the mind. Training the mind to recognize the power you have over it. That type of power is built into you.
Let’s Drive This Home
A few months ago, my son underwent an ordeal. A procedure ended up as an emergency. It was a moment when many would have collapsed. But instead, I bore witness to an indescribable strength. That type of strength is not something that comes easy. In a moment of intense vulnerability, mine not his, I asked him are you okay? He shrugged and nodded. Then I asked him how? He looked at me and said, “mind over matter.”
At that moment, those words hit me. I was flabbergasted. I was astounded at how my son could stand there when he should have been in pain and when he should have passed out. When his heart could have stopped, he stood there. With all the strength imbued upon him, said mom, “mind over matter.
A Very Valuable Lesson
That taught me that mind over matter is no simple phrase. It is powerful. My son’s use of it showed me what is possible. We do have the power to exercise an indeterminable insuppressible faith that will carry us through our most harrowing moments in life. We must tap into it.
How?
We begin by exercising this mindset in small matters.
So, my message for you today is to remember the power of words. Remember that nothing is impossible to you if you believe. And one can absolutely demonstrate mind over matter, but it comes through the development of strong faith.
A lot of finding understanding in life is about expanding our horizons and our perspective.
A small blurb I retracted from Jay Shetty’s Think Like a Monk brought this back to the forefront of my mind. That quote went, “We don’t see things as they are; we see things as we are,” meaning our perspective influences how we interact with the greater world and our experiences in it.
Limited by Perspectives: Expanding Towards Gratitude
We are limited by our own perceptions (perspectives). So, we must teach ourselves to walk into other rooms in our minds to consider things differently. However, that is no simple task. But it’s worth considering that the best rewards come from what we have worked for. Adjusting mindset is no different.
Enlarging our perspectives is an essential part of that process. This permits us the space to lean toward more tremendous gratitude in our lives.
“Taking a broader view helps us minimize our pain and appreciate what we have, and we directly access this broader view by giving.” -Shetty
Limited in Our Pain: Growing in Gratitude
We are often limited in our pain. Without perspective beyond our own of others undergoing more immense sufferings, we can’t find the type of peace that will carry us through our own trials and struggles. Because when perspective is absent, our pains, struggles, and problems become much more prominent. However, when we consider the larger community, somehow, what we go through is a lot more insignificant, no matter how large it is in our lives. The shift in knowledge makes us grateful for our condition, no matter where we may be.
“When we see the struggles of others in the clear light of day when we use our talents to improve the world even a little bit, we immediately feel a surge of gratitude.”
Shetty
A Small World
Our world alone is too small. Everything is magnified in a smaller room.
But expansion allows us to see farther distances.
An adage attributed to Helen Keller ties this up nicely.
“I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet.”
United Through Suffering
As I have said in an earlier post, suffering comes to us all. No one is immune. So, it’s never a thing that we fall or despair. Instead, what is essential is that we rise and how we get up.
Your suffering seems overwhelming and consuming if it is for you as it has been for me. And so, I encourage taking a beat and a breath and seeking to understand the suffering of others. And then trying to ease someone else’s pain. You will find the internal healing you so desire.
A Personal Account: From Pain to Gratitude
A year ago, I underwent a loss. That loss was significant, and the tumult of the grief threatened to bring me under. I absolve my perspective and view were much too narrow. And I found a dwelling place in my pain. I constructed a house and tried to set up a residence. Thus my pain became a shrine. I made it as if I were the only one who suffered that type of pain. Until I found a community.
Shared Communities Open Doors, Hearts, and Minds
It was a community of people who suffered a similar loss. I never knew it existed. But my loss led me there. My loss opened my world and my eyes. Once there, although I found I had pain, there were others whose pain was so much more profound. And that made my struggle seem small, no less painful, but a lot less catastrophic. I could then see all the things I had to be grateful for. It led me to a deeper desire to help others. It spurred me to,
“Plant trees under whose shade I did not plan to sit.” -Shetty
My Quest Forward
I wanted others to heal in a way I had not. I wanted others to experience less pain than I did.
So, in every endeavor, this is my quest. And one day, when all is said and done, my seeds will create a forest, a lush green canopy of trees generations can find rest under.
Today, my hope for you is that you expand your mind, your world, and your perspective. Make gratitude the balm to set you on a path to peace and healing.
Mistakes are very much a part of life. We all make them, some big and some small. And let’s face it, some of the mistakes we make can have enormous consequences. So, it’s not outside of the norm to experience fear behind a mistake.
Fear is a catalyst for inquiry.
A string of questions typically follows mistakes. What’s next? What am I going to do? or How do I fix it?
That is often followed by a long period of indecisiveness, guilt, panic, and even shame. Then, finally, it can become a downward spiral unless something is done.
After a mistake, what’s next?
There is no definitive answer. All actions have consequences. Some are good, and some not so much. Some prices we pay immediately, and other times the bill comes due down the road.
There are times when we pick up the bill, and sometimes others do. There is no way to know what comes next.
Altering the future can only be done by acting in the present. However, this is a question many let arrest their movement. One must take up the courage to face what is and work to improve (see it as a lesson)
“Wisdom comes from making mistakes, having the courage to face them, and make adjustments moving forward based upon the knowledge aquired through those experiences.” ― Ken Poirot
What am I going to do?
There is only one thing to do. Get up. Dust yourself off and keep moving. Tomorrow will come whether one likes it or not. The past always turns into now. And it ultimately causes more pain to try to stay in a place that is no longer. You die a thousand deaths that way because only ghosts occupy the past. And ghosts have no real communion with the living.
However, one can’t erase the past. It’s impossible to rewind time. Once said, a word has crippling power, and a bullet that has left the chamber finds its target.
And unfortunately, once the milk is spilled, as the adage goes, “there is no use in crying.”
The truth is the only way to move on from a mistake is to learn from it.
So, glean wisdom and let it make you a better person.
When we become more conscientious, slow down, and think first, we are less apt to make mistakes. Our decisions become deliberate. Our choices will be based on the now, not the past or a future that has yet to arrive.
Real-life Example
My baby boy wanted slime. So in a desire to make my baby boy happy, my mind went to work on how I could surprise him with this slime. I had no forethought of the results of buying that slime. So I was hurried in my action; I was driven by emotion. I was not conscientious. My response was driven by past and future emotionalism. I wanted to give him more of what I felt I didn’t have growing up. And I anticipated a specific reaction.
I did get the reaction? He loves that slime.
After getting it, my oldest son said, “Mom, I think that might have been a mistake.” And I contended no. I said, “Why?” He said because “Mom he’s going to have that everywhere.” Again, I said no, outright denying my mistake at the time. “I said, I told him to keep on the table.”
My Mistake
I must admit my baby boy kept the slime on the table. However, I didn’t contend how hard it would be to get the slime off the table after each use. After having a major cleaning session to get the slime off the table for two days, I finally admitted okay; I had made a mistake.
But I couldn’t take it back. I couldn’t take it away from my baby boy. So, I had to come up with an alternative. No reaction would change the choice made or the consequences that followed. To progress, I had no choice but to learn from my mistake and find something that worked now. Otherwise, I would be locked in a loop of useless emotion. The consequence would continue until I learned.
I found a tray for him to play with the slime on, and I’m happy. He still gets to play with his slime. I have less of a mess to contend with.
After action Review
Some may say that should have been the first thought. Perhaps but it wasn’t. I acted before thinking about it. I make mistakes, and no apologies need to be made for being human. Sometimes my emotions get the best of me. I admit I’m imperfect.
“One of the basic rules of the universe is that nothing is perfect. Perfection simply doesn’t exist…..Without imperfection, neither you nor I would exist” ― Stephen Hawking
I also know that making mistakes is a part of life. And I’m learning how to learn. I’m learning to make better decisions.
So as for the slime, now I know what not to do again. Will that information be helpful to me in the future? Perhaps it will, or maybe it will not? Or maybe it’s something I learned to pass on to someone else. Whatever the reason doesn’t matter. What matter is that I grew from that experience.
I hope you will learn that there is no shame in making mistakes. The important thing is that when you make a mistake, you grow from them no matter how small they may be.
Sometimes it is hard to recognize the beauty in life.
For some of us, the losses seem to outnumber the wins. The challenges come a lot more frequently than the victories. For a few of us, we have been knocked to the mat so many times we are afraid to get back up. I know that’s been me.
I Keep On Trying
We are putting in the work, but we remain mired. And we get tired, listless, and unable to understand or trust the process.
I promise you if you keep on trying and believing, one day you will see the reflection of the Lotus.
The Lotus
The Lotus flower is a representation of strength and durability. According to geological studies, it’s been around for ages. As is noted,
“Their existence stretches back some 145.5 million years. The Lotus Flower even survived the ice age.”
Adaptable
The Lotus flower is not only durable but adaptable. The Lotus has been discovered in the most extreme climates, unfazed by its habitat.
“It grows naturally from Russia to Australia, China to Iran. And they can survive under the ice as long as their roots remain in water or mud. On the other extreme, they can tolerate scorching sun and often bloom when others can’t tolerate the heat.
Although Lotus flowers are not immortal, they are indomitable. Even though the water may come and submerge them, they are never eradicated.
“The catastrophic flooding of the Yangtze River in 1954 killed all the lotuses in the area. Three years later, the water had finally receded. Once normal water levels returned, the flowers began to grow again in the shallow part of the lake.”
Beautiful But Not Frail
Despite their frail appearance, they are a force of nature, and they are beyond beautiful.
My Story
Despite how many times I have heard we have to look at our losses as lessons, it hasn’t always been easy. And I count the countless times I have been told all things are working together for my good, although I had little understanding of how. They are innumerable. And admittedly, it has taken half of my life to see the Lotus flower in my reflection. But day by day, I’m beginning to see it emerge.
I am beginning to see how I and the Lotus flower are akin.
In a revelation, through conversation a week ago, I began to understand how all things have been working together for my good all along. I can’t say I am at the point where I am unfazed by the rejections or losses. And I may never be. But I’m a whole lot closer than I was. By the time this journey is over, I will be a whole lot further than I am. That is why I’m thankful for the process.
“The lotus represents the idea that the mud and muck of life’s challenges can provide fertile ground for our development.” (Shetty 122)
And now, my petals are emerging above the mud and muck. One day, I know I will proudly stand solid and majestic well above it one day. This inspires me to keep going. I’m inspired to keep learning, keep trying, and keep developing.
I know you may not now see it. I hope you will open your heart and mind to understanding as it comes. My further hope is that you will continue to strive and grow wherever you are planted. One day you will also see in yourself the reflection of the Lotus flower, and it will inspire you to grow to your fullest potential
