The distinction between hearing and listening lies in the differentiation of the faculties being employed to carry out communication exchange, and to what measurable capacity those faculties are used.

One is simply the passage of air through the auditory canal, nothing more nothing less; giving full substantiation to the saying ”  going in one ear out the other.” This fundamentally signifies that the person in reception of the message, has not engaged his or her mental processes in the exchange.

What is effective listening?

Effective listening is active listening.

This means, that when one is participating in conversation they are fully engaged in the mental rationalizing process in an effort to learn through deeper understanding (insight).

Is there any wonder left to the issues of fledgling education. For it can very well be reasoned, that failure to master the art of listening is  largely contributory to the fledgling state of education

Listening and the state of  Relationships 

There is a serious lack in communication, which is destroying many relationships both professional and personal.

Conversations have become disjointed.

With the expansion of social media, we have seen a growth in relational activities but degradation of relationships.

Why is this? 

There are more people talking but few are hearing ,and even fewer actually listening.

Social egoism is at an all time high.

Most of our conversations are not conversations at all but merely monologues and soliloquies.

One can simply look at an exchange among peers and see how many times the same conversation is replayed over and over, although every single rationale has already been explored in great depth.

Each and every one is simply awaiting their turn to make a  point.

How can one gain understanding without at least attempting to listen?

Many have  failed  to past the test.

Most are not even trying.

You too may be guilty of this

Check your reflection

Are you;

• trailing off in the middle of a conversation and carrying on an internal dialogue
• in face to face exchange are you  just waiting for your turn to jump in and say something
• when holding exchanges on social media are you fully reading the conversation before making a response?
• in face to face exchange do you find yourself anxiously waving your hands in the middle of a conversation
• guilty of interrupting before someone has fully finished a thought.
• If responding to a message  only respond to part of a conversation and ignore the rest.
• Are you over acknowledging that you get what someone is saying although they have not finished their complete thought.
• Do you find yourself leaving the exchange without remembering  anything that was said.

Relationships are complex.

Living peaceably among one another requires a thorough understanding of one’s rationalization processes.

That means knowing what position one stands on and why.

Effective communication is the key to building human relationships.

You can never build a relationship with a battering ram, it is impossible.

If you have problems building relationships the very problem could be you.

Do a self-evaluation!

If you find that you have little patience to hear someone all the way through without drawing conclusions about their ineptitude, then you may need to change.

Ask others how you come off in conversation.

Are you spacing out?

Are you pretend listening?

Are you employing selective listening?

Are you a selfish listener?

If you have problems in any of these areas try to actively change your behaviors.

Initiate a conversation, fully invest in that conversation without distractions; with eyes targeted.

Remain silent while the other is talking and wait until they have completely finished to respond.

Try to avoid any of the aforementioned behaviors. 

The art of communication

Communicating effectively is an art.

The basis of that art is listening for understanding that we may build stronger relationships.

Relationships help us get to the places we want to be so much quicker.

When you have the support of others it means that you have someone to share your joy and your burdens and push you along when you lose steam.

“Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. For if either of them falls, the one will lift his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.” Ecclesiastes 4:9

Strengthening relationships is essential to your success and achievement, begin by learning to be an effective listener.

In life you have got to be motivated.

“You must give everything to make your life as beautiful as the dreams that dance in your imagination.” ― Roman Payne

Things won’t move unless you move.

You got act in the now.

“Do not sit still; start moving now.

“In the beginning, you may not go in the direction you want, but as long as you are moving, you are creating alternatives and possibilities.” ― Rodolfo Costa, Advice My Parents Gave Me: and Other Lessons I Learned from My Mistakes

Motivation can be both external or internal.

However, it is the internal motivation that sustains.

True enduring motivation comes from the inside out.

Motivation, is that thing that pushes you and drives you to accomplish what you set out to do.

What you do is important?

What you choose, what you focus on, or what you let stand in your way sets a course for your success or failure.

Even more important than defining “what,” is defining the why?

Knowing why you are doing something is called motive?

Why are you doing, what you are doing?

A lot of people have what mixed up with why?

Thus, nothing seems to go right or get accomplished.

Such simply are unable to pin down their motive.

Defining the why is the secret to unlocking everything you want..

Many fail to lock the secret of success because of the lack of pure directed motive.

They think they know what they want, but they have no idea why they want it?

Defining the why, or uncovering your motive, will help you determine what is driving you.

It will give you direction in life.

Just a little example

Many believe that they have their dreams on lock (they have full assurance that they know what they want to do with their lives).

They are directed individuals.Therefore, nothing should stand in the way of their accomplishment. Yet, it does.

Why?

Let’st take for example those that  profess their love of singing, acting, and playing sports.

Those, whom define the undertaking of such as an employee as a dream come true.  At least this is what they tell the world.

However their actions do not quite coincide with true love or passion.

Singing, acting, and playing sports in and of itself does not fulfill them.

It seems they cannot be happy unless they are reveling in someone’s applause or standing in a spotlight.

They fear being undiscovered. They fear a life of singing, acting, or playing sports in apparent obscurity.

Such people are vexed with great confusion.

Though, they hold to the stance that they are in love with such activities, doing such on the small stage of life does nothing to boost their morale.

Such soon find that they are not as successful as they would like?

Why?

They don’t possess the motive to drive a deep passion, which brings about success.

They motivated by the wrong things to support the fulfillment of what they seek.

Their passion is not as rooted in their dream as they would like others to think.

Their true motive for action is  fame not the activity in and of itself.

Their true desire is to be seen, applauded, and revered.

It really does not matter what end accomplishes that.

However,

Fear makes it difficult to achieve.

However, those who truly are passionate about their craft outside of the limelight will hone and nurture it just because.

The love of their gift, will make way for them.

Their passion will be evident.

No matter where they are called or the size of the audience they will happily share their passion.

It will not take huge audiences. It will simply be an abundant blessing to simply have another opportunity to share and grow their gift.

With the same token there are those who have been given fame but yet fame is not their true goal.

Such often shirk the attentiveness of crowds and the clamor of stardom and prefer to hone their crafts in solitude.

They can be often found sharing their gift just because they love what they do.

Why is always important?

It is directed passion that gives one the edge.

It is purpose and reason that pushes one forward.

Thus, knowledge of self  and the true desires of self is essential

Know what it is you want by determining why you are invested?

Is it a specific career you want or is it rather ambition, fame, fortune, or position.

If it is a specific career you want it will never matter what stage of life you will be put on to carry out that skill.

You will be happy, wherever your gift takes you.

If it is ambition, fame, fortune, or position you clamor for you will only be happy when you are in reception of those who will give you such and never otherwise.

Stop and do a mental check-up.

• Does what you dream of doing make you happy?
• Could you do it even if you had to do it all by yourself, without anyone ever knowing that you accomplished that particular goal or objective?
• Could you do it for free?
• How often do you actually engage in activities that work toward your goals, do you ever think that there is never enough time to invest in development?
• How often do you get lost in those activities?
• Does someone have to make you engage, or do you do it readily, daily, and with enthusiasm?

If you have a hard time answering any of these positively in  regards to the goals and objectives you have set forth, you may want to check to see if what you have chosen, is truly something you really want to do?

If it’s not something you really want to do, explore why you chose that course in the first place?

“People always ask me, Son what does it take To reach out and touch your dreams?” To them I always say Are you hungry? Are you thirsty? Is it a fire that burns you up inside? How bad do you want it? How bad do you need it? Are you eating, sleeping, dreaming With that one thing on your mind? How bad do you want it? How bad do you need it? Cause if you want it all You’ve got to lay it all out on the line” ― Tim McGraw, Tim McGraw — Live Like You Were Dying: Piano/Vocal/Chords

Remember long-lasting achievement comes from intense internal motivation.

If you want to achieve.

Know yourself.

Know your motive.

Our senses are a gift.

 

Through our senses we experience and learn of the world

Oh to hear the melodies of nature its pleasant harmonies, moving symphonies with its  interludes of crass absurdities is miraculous. To hear the poetry of the earth.

 

A gift that many  would pay handsomely for.

 

Oh to feel.

 

The depth of human touch, sensations of fingers running  across a gown of silk or a blanket of velvet, the pureness of beauty flowing through the fingertips, a gift beyond measure.

 

Oh to taste.

 

 

Sweet and bitter herbs .

Flavorful and bland delicacies.

Gustatory delights that  dazzle the eye and satiate the palate, incomparable.

Oh to  smell.

The sweet aromas of honeysuckle  on the breath of a spring morning.

Love in odious repose for

words that soothe the soul and awaken the  spirit to life’s abundant miracles  like the salve of the fresh earth after a spring rain.

There is no greater blessing.

Oh to see.

The beautiful landscapes propped against splendid horizons.

 

Stretches of Green lands and oceans spanning for miles.

All gifts wrapped in the body of one, you.

What makes life lavishly beautiful are those faculties which allow us to experience a world bubbling over with beauty.

 

 

Yet, there are other senses that one possess which are as equally as important as the five aforementioned.

“Our bodies have five senses: touch, smell, taste, sight, hearing. But not to be overlooked are the senses of our souls: intuition, peace, foresight, trust, empathy. The differences between people lie in their use of these senses; most people don’t know anything about the inner senses while a few people rely on them just as they rely on their physical senses, and in fact probably even more.”
― C. JoyBell C.

 

These meta-cognitive senses  arouse higher sensibilities.

“Metacognition is an important-sounding word for a very everyday process.

We ‘metacognise’ whenever we reflect upon our thinking process and knowledge.” This kind of introspection is crucial for making good decisions.” (Bailey Penny)

Such as sight.

Not in speaking of visual,  but of a second sight that permits one to see beyond what the physical spectrum will allow.

The ability to effectively “metacognise”, through foresight, Hindsight, and insight.

 

Foresight, is the ability to see ahead.

 

It is the ability to use experience to interpret or predict  what is to come. Then successfully act upon this insight.

A very important ability for maneuvering in the world.

 

Hindsight

 

Hindsight is the ability to look back and draw reasoned conclusion as to why things occurred.

 

 

It is the ability to think retrospectively and piece together small fragments of the past to put together a bigger picture.

Insight

 

 

Insight is the ability to see deeper into something. It is to develop a deep understanding due to a  deeper knowledge of a subject or a person.

Opinion, point of view, and perspective are not synonymous to insight. “A point of view can be a dangerous luxury when substituted for insight and
understanding.”
― Marshall McLuhan

There is much success in using insight to properly to prepare the way for greater achievement.

 

 

Not all have fully developed such sights.

 

It is worth it to develop all sights to achieve a life of beauty inside and out.

How good is your sight

http://www.brainfacts.org/sensing-thinking-behaving/awareness-and-attention/articles/2012/metacognition/

 

Let’s begin with a story

Lewis Caroll once penned a story of a little girl lost.

Her name was Alice.

Alice was of an inquisitive and  curious nature.

It was Alice’s curiosity  that drew her down the rabbit hole.

Her descent was a long one.

once fallen she could not slow her descent.

When she hit bottom she was disoriented and confused.

She had exchanged one world for another, one of confusion.

Once there she tried desperately to  do anything to find her way back.

There  there was no way in going back the way she came.

Alice’s trip down the rabbit hole is symbolic.

It is symbolic of chaotic dissolution, and unraveling; wildly symbolic of what what has occurred within this current society.

Our actions have become our undoing.

Give it to me straight without a chaser

There are some things in life, in which removal equates to regression.

There is a  point wherein adaptation does not move you forward but rather moves you backward.

Two things in particular have aided in the regression of our persons.

Due to the rejection of said values, and adaptations of new and shifting paradigms,  the whole is experiencing a pattern of retrograde.

Those two things being, discontinuance of civility and manners

Thus, the whole has become brutish in nature

There is but one thing that separates men from brute beast.

That is the ability to rule over emotions and instinctual drive.

The ability to control  and exchange such unfettered passions and proclivities for civil conduct and manners.

However such control and virtue stems from a conscience knowledge of one’s place in the world relative to others.

A clear understanding that there is no line delineating the statehood of one person from another.

At and above all, higher reasoning permits him or her to act in a manner that is conducive to sustaining life and brotherhood.

For, another individual is merely an extension of self, and to aide another is to aide one’s self.

Thus, this higher reasoning drives one to be civil and mannerable even when there is an option to act counter.

Yet, civility and manners seem to be in short supply.

The rudimentary actions, which have sustained and lent much in the path of achievement and growth are being neglected more and more

Many find it unnecessary to be manner-able or civil in their deportment’s.

The more rude and caustic the better.

Consequently, the most caustic substances in the world, such as lye, never built anything but are rather substances of destruction.

Why would a progressive people, with goals of building adopt a more caustic approach.

Would they not be undertaking the counter, destruction?

Uncivil behavior is a telltale sing of uncivil people, barbaric in nature.

Such behaviorism is reminiscent of the dark ages.

This is a sign of retrograded movement.

Retrograded movement as defined by Merriam Webster is, ” Returning to an earlier and usually worse state or condition.”

Remember the axiom, “together we stand divided we fall”.

This is a significant truth.

A society that stands divided is vulnerable.

Diversionary and division is an essential tactical strategy of any enemy unit.

To cause division is to weaken, so that it easier to infiltrate.

Are we really a society?

A society is a group of people working together for a common cause.

A society sets out to  achieve as a whole.

In a society good manners and civility are paradigms of utmost importance.

Good manners and civility sustain human relationships and camaraderie needed to unify (work together).

We have long moved from this.

A Reiteration of the question

Are we a society?

Although considered a society in form we have become tribalistic.

This cannot do, this is unsuitable and inhospitable.

A society of tribes will never succeed as a whole.

The only thing that can restore the whole is a re-commitment to those behaviors which bring about unity as opposed to division.

Two such important being civility and manners.