Sometimes all one needs to hear is, yes!

There have been so many no’s, that no becomes an expectant response.

The closed doors have outnumbered the open ones.

The losses outweigh the wins.

As time passes, the no’s become weightier.

The reverberations of dejection send shockwaves throughout every portion of one’s life, and soon the fissures begin to spread and doubt seeps through.

And even when trying to be as positive as one can be about opportunities, the doubt lingers.

Fear becomes a constant companion, and every action is taken with reservation.

However, there comes a time when somewhere along the way things change, and that no becomes a yes.

What happens when one does get that yes after so many no’s?

Unfortunately, for some hearing yes after so many no’s is overwhelming.  It becomes difficult navigating how to live in the yes, walk in that yes, or accept one’s worthiness after so many no’s.

Faith dwindles, self-worth is wounded, and one’s guard is activated.

And, it is awfully hard not to pinch oneself out of fear. Because perhaps the next morning may bring disappointment.

Some find that they are not as happy as they should be, and winning somehow feels alien.

And yet, others self-sabotage themselves. They begin to feel fettered to the yes; believing that this is the only yes they will ever get, or that they are worthy of.

No matter how many no’s one has received it does not make one any less deserving or worthy of many more yeses.

Winning is something all deserve.

But, how can one change a notion that has been built over time?

One has to spend just as much time reconstructing a new conception as it was taken to form the negative perception.

This is done by;

1. Focusing on one’s worthiness.
2. Developing positive self-talk.
3. Surrounding oneself with those who build you up.
4. Reading about others who have had shared experiences and succeeded.
5. Looking at the yes, as only a beginning, not an end.

Remember, no matter how many no’s you have gotten before, it does not make you unworthy of many more yesses.

Those many no’s do not define you.

Furthermore, Just because you got one yes, doesn’t mean that you have to be tied to that yes.

Those who said no before just didn’t see your worthiness, they weren’t ready for you, and they didn’t deserve what you had to offer.

And believe that although it took you a while, there was always something so much better waiting for you.

 

Achievement is a process, sometimes linear and, sometimes not. 

Regardless of the path,  it is certain that success results from, ” a series of (deliberate) actions or operations conducing to an end” (Merriam Webster).

Success is neither instantaneous or by happenstance. It is the result of daily contributions toward specific goals and the repetition of those targeted efforts.

Eureka!!!

 One of the essential keys to achievement is repetition.

Repetition is the cornerstone of learning and developing automaticity, which is extremely important.

As Norman Vincent Peale once surmised

“Repetition of the same thought or physical action develops into a habit which, repeated frequently enough, becomes an automatic reflex.”

This level of application creates a mental and physical state, which makes achieving any goal possible.

Astoundingly, in this day and age repetition is dreaded if not avoided.

Undoubtedly learning and growing by repetition is a timely and often painstaking process, requiring patience, an element which many are in short supply.

But, nothing that is worth obtaining comes easily.

Building lasting achievement requires a shift; moving beyond what is comfortable and adopting a change in thinking and habit.

One must do what is necessary to develop habits that support a desired level of success.

To do otherwise is pure insanity.

When the individual focuses on reinforcing the right things, accomplishment is sure to result. As it has been attested.

If what is repeated is targeted and positive, then positive outcomes result.

Helmster, the author of From 360 Days of Positive Self-Talk, provides his readers with a great example of why creating success through targeted and positive repetition is important.

Focusing on the wrong things, allowing a repetitive influx of negative input, or engaging in untargeted practice can lend to negative neuroplasticity.

“If you think a negative thought repeatedly, you literally rewire your brain. Same with a positive thought” (Church)

If success is what you are looking for embrace repetition.

Make sure whatever is being repeated is positive and targeted toward your goal.

 

Works Cited

Church, Dawson. “The Dark Side of Neural Plasticity.” Energy Psychology Journal. 2017.

   Web. https://energypsychologyjournal.org/the-dark-side-of-neural-plasticity.

Accessed 6 May 2019.

Helmster, Shad. 365 Days of Positive Self-Talk. Gulf Breeze, Fl., Park Avenue Press,

2015.

 

 

We live truly miraculous lives.

Unfortunately, many forget or never realize how miraculous their lives really are.

I could spend an incalculable amount of time expounding on what I have come to learn in the last couple of months of my life.

I digress for there is not enough time to expound to such depths.

In short,  there were so many things that I thought I should have known. Now, I have come to realize that there is still so much I don’t know and some things that I may never know.

It has been a transformative and painful process, but a necessary process.

I have come to certain realizations.

#1 Lack of knowledge is a plague upon humanity and the source of what ails many.

#2 Our failure to recognize the miracles in our lives is at the root of the rot. 

I believe that sometimes things appear to happen so easily in our lives that we miss the miracles.

As a result, we as a people begin to become sure and boastful.

We develop formulas, methods, and strategies ensuring outcomes.

And boastfully proclaim, if carefully applied success will result.

After all 1 + 1 = 2, right

And, what if that outcome is different than it is extrapolated to be?

Why, then, we scrutinize and patronize. We become fastened steadfastly to the assumption that output error is due to something was done incorrectly in the application,  in the process,  or that there is probably a flaw in the applier.

This could not be further from the truth.

The truth is while 1+1 should equal 2, and it more often does. 1+1  doesn’t always equal 2.  In fact, it is a miracle that it does 98% of the time.

Truthfully, some people no matter how hard they try to get 2 from 1+1 they will not or will not without some difficulty.

Sadly these people come to feel inferior, flawed or broken.

However, as my husband recently reminded me, we are not broken, flawed, or inferior. We just live in a complex world where the formula does not always apply and a lot of what does go right is the result of external factors.

Yet, the trueist sadness is that we try to pass off miracles as certainties.

Regrettably, these people are blinded. As a result of their blindness, they are hardened, prideful, unempathetic, cruel, and pretentious.

I think this occurs because of a lack of awareness. Rarely are we truly aware of how miraculous our lives are.  So, it is easy to take so much for granted and then to become full, of assumption, surety, and pride.

As I have come to surmise, there is no definitive guarantee of a specific outcome regardless of how much effort we put in.

This fact is hard-hitting.

It’s real and raw

When you do become aware, when life hits you so hard that you can’t possibly breathe or think; it is then that you begin to realize that you are to an extent powerless.

 It is then that you begin to see the true miracle of your life and recognize your role in it. 

While the process is always in our control. The outcome is and always will be out of our control.

We can only do the best we can to move toward the desired outcome, improving our probability of reaching the desired outcome.

What about science?

Science is a methodology a process by where hypotheses are confirmed through experimentation and verification using the if, then premise, ultimately resulting in a new truth, rule, process, or product.

 

Fundamentally confirming as once hypothesized, if you apply a then b should result. If you perform in a certain manner then a specific achievement should be reached.

This is said to be verified by many tests, which have been replicated resulting in a confirmed outcome.

The thing is there is no exact science. There are many variables and conditions that exist that can at anytime nullify a confirmed scientific truth.

Why do we cling so strongly to these truths?

For the most part, since things seem to work out in our favor and on our behalf a lot of the time, we attribute the success to the science, the formula, or the method. It is easier that way.

We, in turn, apply this same standard to the whole (everyone).

But, what happens when everything is done right( according to formula), but still it doesn’t work out.

To what does one attribute the failure?

You cannot always contribute a failed outcome to an error in process or the individual.

No outcome is assured 100% of the time.

Given closer introspection, you will begin to see things more clearly and understand that those successes that you have had, though you had a hand in it,  had nothing to do with you. It is outside of your realm of power.

Let me give you a few examples:

1. Although you may apply for a job and meet all the desired qualifications to assume the position, that position is in no way guaranteed. Someone  (outside of yourself) has to offer you the job.  Ultimately, you have no control of this.
2. Suppose you audition for a role in a movie. Suppose you had acted in many roles prior to the one you are auditioning for. You have the experience, the education, and the look. You should be a guaranteed shoo-in. But, you still don’t get the role. Why?  It is because being selected is outside of your control.

Remember, if you write the book customers have to decide to buy it. Even if you run for office others have to elect you. You can make a petition but someone has to be willing to answer. Although you do everything you can to conceive, you cannot without a miracle happening within your body.

This is when you realize.

Whatever success you celebrate or have celebrated was and can never be totally attributed to you.

You cannot make anything happen.

When you awaken to this, you start to really begin to count your blessings. You really begin to appreciate what you have and what you have accomplished. You become more humbled and less prideful. You understand that the world is much more complex than we make it. You learn to be empathetic.

And when the formula does work for you, you are less likely to look down upon others who are still struggling to try to make things work.  You become more human and begin to reach out your hand in understanding because you have come to an understanding.

In the end, despite what it may seem, everything that has been achieved is because we have been favored, or blessed.

I am not here to pass on any guarantees to you but I want to give you the tools and knowledge to put you in the best position to accept your blessing if and when they come to you.

Through my growth, I want to help you also grow.

 

Commitment is integral to achievement.

Commitment is a tie that binds you to your goals. Commitment is not always easy, but it is absolutely necessary.

How does one become fully committed?

To maintain your vigor and tenacity in achieving goals you must tie your commitment to the right things.

True and pure commitment is often born when one is authentically inspired.

Superficial desires or goals are often not strong enough to bear the tenuous journey on the way to excellence.  One’s success is often more solidified when individual commitment is driven by something stronger and deeper. This assures the translation of goals to reality.

In a book entitled The Mindset of Achievement by Scott Abel, this is summed up beautifully

 

Success can be elusive.

It can be baffling when it seems that no matter how hard you try you can’t seem to hang in there long enough to see your goals to fruition.

The truth is, often what we use as our muse is not strong enough to maintain our commitment. The pull is not strong enough to inspire us to continue to push.

I heard someone say recently your goal should be enough to inspire you to push, to commit, to follow through.

Fundamentally, one has to be inspired on a much deeper level.

I challenge you to dig deep and find a strong reason for wanting to achieve the particular goal you have chosen. Choose a muse that will continue to inspire you long after the ethereal feeling of starting something new has worn off and you are in the trenches getting down and dirty.

 

Often times in life it seems as if some things are certain. Things such as our breathing, mobility,  and heartbeat.

We move about and plan with an assurance that there will be a tomorrow and that all the factors will align permitting us to do what is necessary to carry out our goals.

It is almost safe to say that many of us walk about a great deal of time feeling invincible, immortal, and untouchable. And often our actions reflect this type of thinking, lending us to act below a certain threshold and perform below a certain standard.

Thus, we achieve much less than we could.

There is an evident lack, a gap in the level of passion we exhibit as opposed to that we would assume if we kept in mind our mortality.

Consider if we planned and acted as if we understood that time is limited, life is short, and we are merely mortal.

Imagine the outcome, if we moved and performed as if all we had was today, perhaps the level of our achievement would rise beyond all that we have ever expected or could fathom possible.

As Author Robin Sharma suggests ” Connect with your mortality. Understand that your days are numbered. Keep the shortness of life at the forefront of your focus. Don’t put off your happiness until you have more time, or you get the promotion, or you have more money in the bank. Tomorrow is a promise, not a fact. Enjoy every morning and appreciate each day you have on earth. (297)

 

Sharma Robin. (2018).  The 5Am Club: Own Your Morning Elevate Your Life. Harper Collins.