Every builder that considers constructing a house never jumps right in without making the proper considerations. Each choice is vital. The builder knows that the choice that is made will impact the structure, value, and integrity of that house.

Everything that we build requires the same consideration.

Build wisely by choosing wisely

About a week ago I was reminded of the power of the impact we have in life. That we have not only the power to shape our lives but the lives of generations with just a few simple choices, choices that can’t be undone.

In a conversation, I had with someone very dear to me they informed me of some pain and anguish some girls they knew were going through.

The pain ran so deep in the lives of these girls that it had become cyclical. One poor decision after another had led to a prison of pain and misfortune. The saddest thing was that much of the pain and anguish that these girls suffered resulted from choices made, poor choices, not made by them themselves but by their parents.

These girls inherited pain.

The choices of their parents reflected heavily on the life they now lived.

They were born with a burden.

Even sadder is that the choices they now make are now flowing over into the lives of their very own children.

Our choices have a ripple effect, even when we can’t see it.

Knowing this, one comes to realize that he or she cannot afford not to consider the choices they make.

Choose wisely, and  build a lasting dream

 

 

Some days are hard really hard.

Everything is a struggle.  Your thinking is not always clear.

A few days ago the day was particularly difficult. There were so many challenges.

There were times when I wanted to just give up on the day, throw in the towel.

I was particularly challenged in how I framed my experiences that day.

I automatically wanted to frame my day as a bad day.

I could hear myself saying , wow you are having such a bad day.

But, then I had to stop and give myself time to breathe and reflect. Then I could reframe my outlook.

Sure I had some challenging experiences that day but that did not in any way, shape, or form make the day a bad day.

It was actually a really good day. There was so much that was great on that day. Taking the time out, to reframe my thinking had a major impact on what I accomplished thereafter and my interactions with my husband and children. For me, that is growing and that is what we should aspire to every day, grow in some area.

One of the most important things to remember as you redesign your life is that being successful is a lot about how you approach something.

I set a goal. I write it down. I put my foot on the path to work toward achievement.

But sometimes I get in my own way.

I come up with a million and one reasons why I can’t put in the effort, why I can’t do just a little bit more, why I can’t commit to taking a step that day.

The truth is there is no rationale for why I cannot put in the work. There is nothing standing in my way but me.

I have to let go of excuses.

If I am honest with myself, I never fail to put in the work for those things I really want.

So there is no excuse.

Excuses are indicators, red flags, that perhaps you (I) don’t really want to achieve what is set forth.

They are like little termites that gradually eat away at the infrastructure that has been constructed and if not careful will totally destroy everything built.

So, No excuses.

It takes more than a decision to do something

“Making a decision is only the beginning of things” (Cohelo).

It takes dogged determination and grit to achieve anything. Even if you (I)  don’t see it now if we are working towards something, even just a little bit every day we are building a foundation and an infrastructure that will stand tall.

We are being an effective architect in designing our best life.  

“It is only those who are persistent, and willing to study things deeply, who achieve the masterwork” (Cohelo).

But first, you (I) have to believe in who we are and what we can accomplish.

We have to believe that we can achieve whatever we set our mind to if we put in the work.

We have to believe that we are worthy and we deserve the best in life.

No Excuses

“People are afraid to pursue the most important dreams because they feel that they don’t deserve them, or that they’ll be unable to achieve them” (Cohelo).

We do deserve it, and you(I) can do this. Let us keep this at the forefront of our mind especially when the process gets tedious, hard, or seems to not be working.

So NO EXCUSES

We got this!

Cohelo Paul. The Alchemist. Harper Collins.

https://www.scribd.com/book/254663574/The-Alchemist

Acceptance and commitment to design are the keys in this year, 2020.

1st goal is to accept yourself in entirety.

Walk boldly, and don’t be ashamed of those things that make you human, embrace them.

“How you feel about your abilities shapes your willingness to tackle challenges and finish difficult tasks. It is a crucial element in your motivation and confidence (Gladwell).

Shore up your strengths and work to shift your weaknesses, use them to build an advantage.

It is time to stop building the dreams of others but to be the architect of your own dreams.

Go from becoming to being.

It is more than possible for we are light. We are energy. We have been gifted with the mental power to achieve if we believe.

Determine who you are, what you want, and act.

Gladwell Malcolm (2013). David & Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits, and the Art of Battling 

     Giants. NewYork: NY, Penguin Books.

I grew up wanting to be somebody wanting to do something great in the world. I never quite knew what that entailed. I never quite knew what the word greatness meant.

What would it look like when I got there?

What would be the exact route?

I just knew it was required of me and not only did I need to acquire it but I wanted it. I did not want to be just another blip on the radar of life.

That’s the thing when you are young no one quite tells you how to be great just that you should strive to be. You are left to look around you for the answers.

And in this life, if you don’t have a direction early on most will make you feel as if you might as well just settle for a life of average.

That was problematic for me.

But, I did not know what would make me great.  And time seemed to pass quickly. So, I looked to others.

I had many people tell me what great wasn’t. And I knew I never wanted to be those things because in my limited understanding that would assuredly make me a failure.

I just never had clarity.

I had the will.

I had hope.

Ironically,  the things I most wanted to do were the things that I was told I should give up on because I would never be great at them. Therefore, I struggled.

And those voices stayed with me.

Beware of the opinions of others. Never let it occupy to much space in your mind.

My purpose was fueled by the desires, expectations, and beliefs of others.

 “You are great at this not so great at that.”

“You will never be able to that.”

“You should do this instead.”

Because I let others walk through my mind with their dirty footprints, I lived most of my young life with a healthy dose of skepticism and fear.

I constantly held myself back.

Sometimes fear is all it takes.

I was driven but uncertain.

When I stepped out but failed those voices would play in my head and mock me. And I became more and more afraid that those voices were right about me. I was in constant conflict with myself.

At times I would tap into my inner strength and fight against the grain to prove those voices wrong. Sometimes I would win but more often than not I would fail. It was a vicious cycle that fed my fear. That made my dreams shrink a little.

This cycle continued throughout my life.

My hopes would swell and then an obstacle would pop up.  And every time my dreams got smaller and smaller. At some points in my life, I stopped dreaming altogether.

But, I didn’t stop moving through life. 

 At the same time, my life kept expanding. This kept me grounded and moving. It kept my dreams from drying up altogether.

Upon having children I  slowly began to realize that my life was suddenly not just an experience for me any longer but it was a lesson for my children. But it took me a while to fully recognize it. 

And the lessons I taught in my growing process weren’t very good ones.

Be Careful with how you live your life someone is always watching.

Because I know longer dreamed out loud and in color, because I folded my dreams within myself and just kept on moving, I  was telling them in no uncertain words it was okay to do the same.

Now sometimes, I look at my children and I am deeply saddened.

I am not even sure they know what the importance of dreaming is. I am not sure they know how to reach or even have the desire to do so.

I see them moving through life but that is what they are just doing, just moving, just riding the wave.

But, I want more for them and for others.

Never too late to start dreaming! It’s never too late to set an example!

Here I am trying to not only fulfill a dream but to leave a lasting legacy.

 Choosing to dream is about more than just me or you being great its about extending a lifeline. It’s about leaving a legacy that will inspire others to be more, do more, and reach beyond what they believe is their potential. 

That is how I want to create the change I wish to see in the world.